𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔

ғᴏᴜʀ

Justin's POV

I don't know what it was about Spaghetti girl. But she never stopped talking too me, even after I showed her my "sweet" selling business. She never fucking stopped. Like god, did she ever stop? It was annoying and obsessive. I admit though, I enjoyed her yammering and talking. Even though I ignored her half the time — well all the time. Other than Ryan, maybe making new friends wasn't a bad idea.

My mind directed back too the blonde girl I love. Brynn. Gosh I miss her. Everything about her. I closed my head, feeling a lump in my throat. I put some music on, - happier than ever By Billie Eilish. Thinking about Brynn was a drug these days, but it helped me a lot.

"Stop oh my gosh!" The blonde giggled as her boyfriend kissed her neck.

"Never" He laughed.

He grabbed her hair, kissing her hair, grabbed her hands, kissed her hands. He took her hands, putting them on his heart —

"Your heart is with me, forever and always"

The blonde smiled, kissing his cheek.

"I love you Jay"

"I love you Brynn"

My mind was broken off by my mom screaming my name, "Ryan is here, stop being lazy and come down stairs"'

I groaned, putting my mind too rest and seeing Ryan in our kitchen.

"Hey bro" He clapped hands with me, "You okay?"

I nodded my head, "Why?"

"Cause you're crying"

I didn't even relize a tear was down my eyes. Fuck.

"Jay, I love you but don't you think, thinking about Bryn all the time it's damaging?"

He was right, thinking about her all the time was toxic for me, and didn't help at all. But I didn't care. I was gonna keep thinking about her till I die. Till I was gonna be with her one day. I don't care what my mom or Ryan thought.

"He's right, you can't do this too yourself baby"  My mom chimed in.

I looked at one of the two most important people in my life. I always took advice from them, but today I just couldn't. I didn't wanna let go. Maybe cause I believe one day she's gonna walk back into my arms, or I won't find a love like her.

"I love Brynn — we all do, but she's gone. She's not coming back"

She's not coming back.

Those words played in my head. I looked around too see my mom and Ryan looking at me. I shook my head a little, drinking the water infront of me. I didn't want too move on. And I hated when people forced me too move on. Like it doesn't effect them, why do i have too do what they wanna do? They should just leave me alone.

"What about that, Selena girl? You been talking too her more often"

"Yeah cause she's fucking following me around everywhere"

"Oh my gosh, who's Selena?" My moms eyes were filled with joy and happiness.

I didn't get it. My mom loved Brynn. More than I did honestly. They had such a good bond. When Brynn was homeless, we took her in and she lived with us for a little. Why did my mom wanna replace her so much? Why did everyone want me too move on. I didn't get it. Sure maybe it wasn't that healthy too think about your dead ex all the time, but I was fine.

"No one mom" A shot a look at Ryan.

My mom frowned, "She is just a girl who keeps talking too me at school, that's all"