A Designer's Creation

36. Stressful Times

My Dad used to say, "You're my favorite nuisance, honey." He would say that to me every time I messed up. I was persistent. I grew up showing the family of my father that my mother's life would never be mine. I choose my path, I choose what I want to become, and none of them should tell me what I wanted to be. The dreams of my parents will never be mine.

Bata pa lang ako, alam na ni Daddy na hindi ko siya pakikinggan kung anong gusto ng pamilya niya para sa 'kin. He was that father who will ask me what I want to become someday, and I was that kid who will answer him, I want to be as great as you are, Daddy. But I never told him I wanted to become like him. Greatness is a matter of perspective on your chosen field, and my chosen field never equates to his line of profession.

Mahirap maging achiever sa lugar na never ina-appreciate ng mga tao sa paligid mo kung ano ang mga achievement mo. You grew up doing what you love, and most of the people around will tell you, you better do something worthy in your life. And worthy means more money and influence.

I have a lot of money. I might have an influence, though not as good as they expected, but at least, I have a name in the industry.

Dito ko sa field na-experience na maging mayaman at maging mahirap nang sabay. You went out wearing grand jewelry and dresses. You partied all night. Flashes of cameras everywhere during the day. And when you went home, you left with nothing.

All those fame and fortune, kapag umuuwi ako sa bahay, mahihiga ako sa kama, ang katapat ko lang, kisame ng condo, pakiramdam ko, wala akong napala sa buhay ko.

Inisip ko noon, I should be happy kasi nakuha ko na ang pangarap ko noon pa. The elites knew my name. Rich families had an idea of who is Cinnamon de Chavez. Money is never my problem since I earn more than I need. But the devil's deal will leave you empty-handed. And it was too late to realize that so I needed to do it again from the start.

Sabi nga nila sa executive department, ang kaibahan ko sa mga nagpapalakas sa mga boss, natural ang talent ko. May iba kasing mga fashion designer na pinipilit na lang ang sarili kahit hindi naman talaga kaya.

The moment I entered the gate of the fashion industry, I studied every part of the corruption of the whole system. You start from there because that's how the system works. Walang mabait sa gubat ng mga leon. Surprisingly, nakuha ko ang knowledge na 'yan kay Daddy.

Lion Fashion has been a huge part of the country's industry when it comes to importation and production of high quality luxury garments and accessories. Kahit sinong fashion aspirants, isasangla ang kaluluwa nila makapasok lang sa Lion kahit bilang office clerk.

But since the corruption of Lion Fashion has taken its toll on me, kailangan ko na namang bumalik sa umpisa nang wala na sa poder nila. Magandang way ang La Mari competition para ipaalam sa lahat na hindi na ako affiliated sa Lion Fashion from now on.

I was checking La Mari's site from time to time. Lion officially released a statement regarding my resignation, at may public post din sila na sumusuporta sila sa pagpapakulong sa mga suspect sa nangyaring krimen sa 'kin. As if namang sumusuporta nga. Hindi ko nga nakitang nagpadala sila ng bulaklak sa ospital para sa 'kin.

Two days akong nakatutok sa phone. Mas madaling gumawa ng sketches sa digital application pero paminsan-minsan, nanghihingi na talaga ako ng papel at lapis kasi kailangan kong masanay na mag-sketch in traditional way. Kung hindi, mahihirapan ako nito sa mismong competition na.

Kailangan kong mag-focus sa suit kasi ito ang matagal gawin. Mababa ang percentage ng criteria nila sa casual wear, and most of my creations are for casual attire. Hindi rin ako mahihirapan since mabilis lang mag-trim. Sa suit ang pinaka-issue ko kasi hindi ako makakapag-cut ng tela nang maayos sa lagay ko ngayon. Ayoko rin ng maraming che-che bureche sa design. Sobrang simple rin ng white tuxedo kung tutuusin, at sigurado akong maraming designer ang gagamit ng napakaraming rhinestones para buhatin ang design ng simpleng formal suit lang.