TWIN [박종성]

1

"Stop looking at him,Yeseul. You look dumb"Sooah said as she caught me looking at my crush. Jay. Park Jongseong.

I knew I shouldn't had a crush on him when he's literally school's bad boy and arrogant,he's even a captain of the rugby team in my school. He's a smart student too.

God,he's so perfect.

He's popular with girls. I felt insecure just by looking at them who were brave enough to talk with him.

And there's me,a coward,loser and liar.

"I'm so sorry but he's hot,so I can't help it"I replied to her with an annoyed face.

"You are pretty,no need to scare. Just talk to him and I'm sure he won't reject you"She said while eating her cookies.

Yeah,if they know that how hard I tried to cover my flaws. How hard I tried to put on makeup every morning,how I tried to not show them my true personality,how I tried to keep my body skinny. I'm such a liar and loser.

"Anyways,did you hear a rumor about him?"She asked me while looking at Jay.

"What? Rumor? What is it?"

"Some of the students said he has bipolar disorder"

"What do you mean by bipolar disorder?"

I never heard about this rumor before and I always knew about him.

"Someone said that they met him and he turned into lovely,sweet person"

Lovely? Sweet person? Are you kidding me? He's the most famous badboy in this school. He's cold and arrogant too. Not to mention he always broke girls' hearts too. He's so cruel.

"But,I never seen him be like that. He's always cold and arrogant"She added up.

I nodded. Agreed with what Sooah said.

"Maybe he doesn't show his true personality at school?"I said to her. I looked at Jay who sat in his seat.

"What if he has a twin?"

"Nah,if he has a twin then why I never know about it? Why does his twin don't attend the same school as him?"

"What if he keeps his twin as a secret?"

I flicked her forehead. "This is not a kdrama,Sooah"
_

"Hey,Yeseul. Do you want to eat tteokboki after school? My treat"Minhyuk said as he puts his things on my desk.

"Uhm.."I looked at Sooah but she ignored me. Sighed.

I hate snacks,no I like it but I'm scared if that food can make my weight gain.

How does it feel when you can eat whatever you want without worrying about your weight?

"Sure"

I honestly didn't like him at all. He tried so hard to be close with me and I really felt uncomfortable around him but if I said no,what if he thinks that I'm arrogant? What if nobody want to be my friends anymore?

I'm so scared to be alone.

I remembered when I was in middle school,I used to get bullied with my classmates. They hated me because I used to be fat and nerd. I don't even have a friend too.

That's why I decided to move to farther school when I started to attend to high school. I decided to change myself to be better with a better life.

But,this better life. Am I enjoying it? It's lowkey heaven and hell for me.

I'm skinny,I'm pretty,I have a lot of friends. Finally,they know my existence. But why it doesn't feel good like what I thought?

I started using contact lenses,wearing expensive clothes and accessories,wearing makeup,did those harmful diet to be skinny and I even changed my personality but I still can't use to it.

I am me. Nobody's can change me,I just force myself to be someone else.

And each day doing the same thing make me tired.

I'm exhausted. Pretend to be someone else.

I wish I can removed this mask and let them know the real me.

No one will love you if you're unattractive
_

"Thanks for this tteokboki. I will treat you later okay?"I said to him and get ready to leave the stall.

"Uhm,it's okay. It's small matter. I can treat you whatever you want. Just tell me okay?"Minhyuk replied and slowly get up to go to the cashier to pay for the food.

I can't believe Sooah really left me with this weirdo. Not that weirdo. I just felt uncomfortable when I'm alone with him.

But,if other girls from my school,they are dying and willing to go out with Minhyuk because he's a good looking and one of the chaebol family in the town.

"Hey,Yeseul. Do you want me to walk with you when you go home? I can company you,if you want"He asked me while handed me a plastic bag with tteokboki inside.

"Uhm,you don't need to do this Minhyuk. I already full with the food earlier"

Liar. Jeon Yeseul,you literally ate five pieces of tteokboki.

True,it was hard to control yourself when you were in front of your favorite food. I wish I could eat the whole plate of tteokboki without felt guilty and fear of getting more weight.

"It's okay,I liked to see you enjoy the food earlier so I bought some for you. Take this and give to your parents okay?"He replied with a big smile. Fuck,I can't do this anymore.

Choi Minhyuk. You're so kind. It made me feel guilty.

Are you sure you saw me happy while eating that?

Probably yes. My favorite food indeed...

"Oh,okay. Thanks Minhyuk. I will go now. Bye,see you at school tomorrow"I took the plastic bag and waved at him

"Good bye and take care,Yeseul"

Yes and please go away now,because I can't hold myself from holding my tears. I don't know why I feel this way.

Every time I ate my favorite unhealthy food,I will cry because I feel guilty. I'm so scared if I gained weight.

I knew it was my fault for being ugly and fat.