Please Remember Me

Chapter Four

Jay decided to open the door to the interrogation room. He saw Erin.

The girl he knew all those years ago was long gone.

Her hair brittle, skin pale as paper, eyes bloodshot and her expression was one he swore he never wanted to see.

Her eyes and his met. The same expression in both. Yet the emotions behind them were nothing but different.

Erin's eyes were full of sadness, regret and guilt. Jay's eyes were full of rage, confusion and irritation.

He was mad.

She was upset.

She pushed the forms over to Jay and he opened it. There it was. Her thumbprint and her signature. Erin Lindsay.

The simple motion of her name on the page made Jay's stomach churn. He was so very lost. With no where to go.

She had decided her fate.

He grabbed the papers and left. Jay didn't know why he wanted to see her, but he did and now he couldn't feel anything but anger. He went to Voights office and slammed the papers on his desk, which caused Voight to look up at the young detective leaving in a fury.

Everyone watched Jay as he darted for the locker rooms and heard a massive bang.

Kim and Hailey shared a look before Hailey rushed down the corridor to Jay who was sitting on the bench in the locker room and Kim went into Voights office.

Jay's locker had a dent in it. Probably from where he punched it as his knuckles were swollen and red. Hailey went and sat in front of a pissed off Jay.

"Hey" she spoke softly as she reached for his hand.

"Hailey I don't get it. She signed the papers. I get it she wants to stay out of prison but if she became a CI we'd actually have to contact her to get information but she doesn't want that. So why did she do this? Why?" Jay's voice was croaked.

He didn't know what to do or what to say. Hailey was conflicted.

Erin was one of her best friends before she ditched everything. Jay got it the hardest but everyone was unsure of what to do.

"Jay. Listen to me" she said as she met Jay's gaze.

"Erin made this decision. We just have to accept it okay?" Jay nodded and they shared a hug before the duo went back to the bullpen.

Jay was beckoned into Voights office and was met by Kim's warm reassuring hand on his shoulder. On the way out, he saw Erin again.

How long had she been sitting there? 10 hours? 12 hours? She just sat there and cried. Sweat. Fidgeted. But not once did she speak.

On the inside. Erin knew her decision was the right one.

But everything else told her to let him go. She saw him with Hailey. Hailey was the perfect girl. She was skinny, blonde, pretty and she treated him well. Erin couldn't compete with that.

Her eyes were still bloodshot. A mess of tears and withdrawal. She didn't know how much longer she could go without a fix but she knew she wasn't getting out of here anytime soon.

There was going to be more questions, more documents, more papers to sign.

She just wanted to go. But at the same time her heart strings were tugging her back in this direction.

His direction.

When his gaze met her earlier all she could think was, how did I let this happen?

She disappeared for a while after Nadia died planning to come back. But she got wrapped up in Bunny's drama and lots of other things. She wanted to come back home every day and see her boyfriend, her father and her friends smiling faces. But she knew she couldn't.

Jay sat across from Voight. His head running a million miles an hour with so many questions. His heart longing for her but at the same time only wanted to push her away.

"Jay?" Voight said. Clearly sensing his confusion and tension linked to Erin's decision. Jay mumbled and met Voight with the same gaze he always did.

"I'm going to go talk to her. You can watch or you can finish some paperwork. It's up to you" Hank said before he got up and left the office.

Jay sat still in the chair. Not knowing wether he should stay or go. Finally he decided to go. He didn't know why. But he wanted to hear what she had to say.

He was conflicted. He was angry at her but his heart longed for her. All he wanted was to feel loved by her again. His stood and watched.

Erin squirmed in the chair until Hank opened the door and let himself in. She was shaking and she was so cold.

Her body was overwhelmed with change.

Yesterday she was on the streets getting high and washing it all down with her favorite liquor.

Today she was sitting in an interrogation room to decide her fate. She knew what she wanted to do. She just didn't know how Hank would react. She had to try though, right?

"Erin" Hank said with his usual gruff tone but since she hadn't heard it for quite some time.

It almost sounded threatening. She slowly raised her head and met his level gaze.

"You signed the papers. You're free to go" He said. Once again his voice level and cool. Erin fidgeted some more. Should she ask him? Tell him rather?

"Actually Hank..." Her voice trailed off slightly as he looked at her.

"I um. I want to be in Intelligence again. I want to be a cop again. I realize I was stupid to throw it all away and just leave like that but I know I want to be a cop it's all I ever want-" Erin rambled before she was cut off by Voight saying.

"Welcome back kiddo" he offered her a soft smile and she lit up. Her smile was bright. Brighter than the one she came in with earlier.

She was back. Hopefully for good this time.