Please Remember Me

Chapter Eleven

Jay knew the emotion in her eyes was nothing but love. And he loved her too. At least he was pretty sure that he did?

Everything was so up in the air with Erin and he couldn't tell how far was too far with her. He wanted her back so badly. To hold her again and tell her how much he loved being with her. Having her by his side. His judgement was clouded...

Jay knew he wanted to be with her again but in some corner in the back of his mind he warned himself. She took off once before, doesn't mean she won't do it again. He shook his head free of the thoughts before looking back up at Erin. She smiled at him and he smiled back. Making her heart flip. She was still very much in love with him, but she too wondered how far exactly was too far. Erin wanted his stability back in her life. She wanted to know someone had her back and loved her 24 hours a day.

Both their minds wandered endlessly until Will came in,
"Hey Erin" he said softly. Not remembering the last time she saw the girl that broke her brothers heart into pieces and sent him spiraling for months.

"Hey little brother. How are you feeling? Your vitals look good. That gash on your face should heal up soon" Will said to his brother as Jay sat up a little still holding Erin's hand. When did that happen? Will thought to himself. Erin had only been back about a month. Wasn't that too soon for anything to happen? Will was confused but it was his life. He would only get told to shut up if he said anything anyways. So he focused his attention on what his brother was saying.

"I'm good. I mean aside from getting hit by a car. I feel good" he looked at Erin again. Huh. Will thought to himself. He had only ever seen Jay look at Erin like that. No one else. He shook himself back to reality.

"Good. Your blood pressure is still a little high so we'll give you some meds to help it come down a little then you should be free to go by early Friday" Will said as Jay groaned. Another three days in this goddamn bed hearing machines beep. He was lucky Erin was still there otherwise he would've short circuited. Will smiled and headed out leaving Jay and Erin alone again.

"So you heard everything I said?" she asked cautiously. Remembering how much she told him.
"Well yes and no. Yes I remember hearing your voice for multiple hours a day and replying to you in my head. But no I don't remember everything you said. Most of it though" he said and Erin sighed.

"Now there was a funny story about when you were 11 on your way to the aquarium on a school trip..." his voice trailed off as Erin whacked him playfully on the arm. They had both missed the playful banter they had together. Both glad it was coming back and all returning to normal.

"So you're back for good?" he asked looking down.
"Yeah. I guess I am" she sighed. Erin felt guilty, people constantly bringing up how she left them all. It wasn't just you that was grieving. You're a selfish bitch. No wonder all those things happened to you. You're a good for nothing little skank. Her mind retorted at her. Shaking herself back into reality, quite literally. Her hands were shaking a tiny bit but Jay felt it and looked up while squeezing her hands.

"Hey" he said seriously. "What's up?"
"Nothing..." Erins voice trailed off slightly "I just feel guilty I guess" she confessed.
"Why?" Jay asked curiously. She had nothing to feel guilty about. At least from what Erin shared it sounded like she didn't.
"Leaving. About Nadia..." her voice hitched in her throat. Erin tried to suppress the emotions that were coming out of her eyes. A small tear rolled down her cheek and Jay put his hand to her face. Erin flinched slightly but as soon as she realized it was Jay she melted in his touch.

Jay was taken aback at Erin's slight flinch when he put his hand up to wipe her tears away. Maybe she hadn't told him something. But then again he can't expect her to tell him everything when he hasn't either. They were still getting used to working together again.

"Erin. You had a reason for leaving. Even though we were all hurt, we're over it now. I'm just happy you're back" he stopped before saying. "I missed you" she was taken slightly by surprise.
"I missed you too. So much" she said and there was a moment of intense eye contact with Erin trying to decide wether she should kiss him or not and Jay trying to decide wether he should kiss her or not.

Luckily their tension was broken by a knock on the door. It was Voight. Everyone in the unit had been a couple times to see Jay after he had woken up.

"Hey kiddo. Hey Jay, you feeling ok man?" Hank put his hand on Jay's shoulder. Erin had never seen them like that before. Voight was always so closed off and aloof with Jay. She shrugged it off, happy to see her dad and the man she loved most being friends.

"Yeah Sarge, I mean it hurts to laugh but otherwise I feel pretty rock solid" Jay said with his usual chuckle and killer smile. It made Erin's heart skip a beat. She really did love him. She just needed to figure out if he felt the same way or not.

Erin was pulled out of her thoughts by a hand on her back,
"I need you working tomorrow kiddo. I can't be down two detectives much longer" Hank said as she nodded when he went out the door. Back to work. She thought. Erin was happy to be going back to doing what she loved, but she was going to worry about Jay all day. Shed figure something out. She always did.