Please Remember Me

Chapter Thirty Three

Erin knocked on the door of Haileys apartment.

It was meant to be the other way around and Hailey was planning on going to Erin's. But with work and everything that had happened over the course of 24 hours Erin really just needed someone she could trust.

Not that she didn't trust Jay of course, it was just a different dynamic with them.

Her mind wandered before the door unlocked and the smiley blonde gave Erin a hug before letting her in.

Erin plopped down on Haileys couch as she usually did, they had their beers and Haileys hair was sprawled all over Erin's lap as she braided it gently.

"Hailey?" Erin asked quizzically, not sure if she should be asking this.

"Mmh" Hailey grunted, clearly enjoying her little head massage.

"What if, I want to bring Hadley back into my life. What would Jay think?" Erin stated. Hailey sat up abruptly, she has become close with Jay over the last few years so she knew him well enough to know the answer to Erin's question.

"Erin that's a talk you have to have with Jay, and as much as I love him. He's basically my brother. I know he'd say this, that he'd follow you anywhere if it meant that he could hold on to you forever" Those words rung in Erin's ears. If he could hold on to you forever. Did he really feel that way?

"Erin..." Haileys voice trailed off slightly as she grabbed her friends hands,

"Jay and I, took the brunt of it when you left. He started going out lots more than usual and we lost all contact with him outside of work. He refused to talk to any of us, but after a wee while. Jay opened up to me, he turned up here at like 1am and started rambling his head off as you do. And something in my mind just clicked that he'd do anything for you. And so would I Erin. You have no idea what kinda hole you left behind" Hailey sighed.

There was a moment of silence, not tension. Just silence, almost trying to accommodate the extra feelings in the room.

"Can you explain it to me?" Erin asked her friend.

"Explain what?" Hailey looked up.

"What happened when I left" Erin gulped.

She wasn't sure if she was ready to hear what had happened but she knew that if she wanted closure. And to have a lasting relationship with Jay, Erin knew she had to get some form of understanding of the pain that she caused them.

"Well... After you left, I didn't come into work for
a few days. I went clubbing. Reminded me of you. Hoped I'd see you. The drinks were bitter and the dancing was melancholic and basic. It was boring without you. I didn't really care about anyone else besides myself at the time which was super shitty of me to do I know" Hailey started to explain.

"Well, I took some time off. Jay continued to work. He tracked you like everyday, he always knew where you were. He just didn't want to go because he didn't want to ruin whatever you had going on at the time. But Jay never gave up on you Erin. He tried calling you several times and tried to see if he had the courage to come and track you down. Jay never did. He was heartbroken. He started hooking up with some random chicks from the bar he regularly went to. We hooked up a few times..." Hailey said as Erin's eyes met hers with an understanding look, so the blonde continued.

"Anyways yeah Jay was in a really bad place, Voight was being harder on us than usual, taking more cases so we had less time to think about you. Antonio was real mad for a while too, he'd come in to work and act normal but the slightest thing would set him off into a rage. Jay was terrifying, I was actually scared he'd hurt me..." Haileys eyes looked up at Erin's as if to say 'he's better now' before continuing,

"Jay was really aggressive at work. He was drunk half the time, Voight was worried that if he let Jay go for a while he'd spiral and end up dead. So we all dealt with it, I spent some time with him to make sure he was ok. He never really let me in until after he finally realized that you weren't coming back I guess... How times change huh?" Hailey chucked slightly as Erin was hurt at her statements about Jay.

She felt guilty she left for so long with no knowledge that he was okay. She checked her phone and his Instagram every once in a while, he seemed ok so she left it at that.

Little did she know how badly Jay had it.

Hailey remembered one night at work that made her skin crawl, Jay was incredibly angry and aggressive. He wouldn't listen to anyone, this was about two months after Erin left and he was still just mulling it over in his head. Taking it out on everyone else was his only solution.

It had been a really long day, Hailey and Jay had finally brought the suspect of their gang shooting into holding. They were going to question him then book him.

They walked up the steps to the bullpen, Jay was twitching. Kim tried to come up and talk to him but he just shrugged her off and slumped down at his desk.

Hailey gave Kim an apologetic smile, almost as if she was saying 'I'm trying here' and Kim returned the look.

Jay was sitting at his desk, shuffling papers and flipping his pen. Until Voight and Antonio walked out, Tony was pissed. Voight had the same unreadable expression as always.

"Did he do it Sarge?" Adam asked and Antonio shot him a look, indicating the bastard wouldn't talk.

This case had been going on for too long, they all knew the truth but the suspect was going to be damned if he admitted to murder.

Jay finally snapped, it was the tension of everything. Erin leaving, the gang shooting and all the previous cases that intertwined with this but he just lost it.

He grabbed his gun, smashed his glass on the wall and stormed out. Which got terrified looks from everyone.

They all ran out after him, worrying about what he'd do.