A World Away

34. Dinner = mini battle

Eve sat and observed everyone as they ate and made small talk. Family, the word echoed in her mind. She felt out of place but there was no Mike this time to make her feel better. Nesta had her sisters, she had Feyre no matter how much she distanced herself from them. Eve supposed the people she was sitting with were her friends, close friends even but, the restlessness did not go away. The same restlessness that made her want to get up, scream and leave and never return.

She watched as everyone talked and made banter. And it made her angry- everything seemed so normal but it wasn't. It would never be as Mike was gone. Did they not care at all? No one had said one word of any resemblance to a eulogy since she had come back to Velaris. Had they even gone back to the manor to bury him?

"Do you like the food?" came a question directed towards her by Cassian. And since Eve was raging inside she clipped, "no."

Her reply made everyone on the table look at each other carefully- she had been doing better that morning.... Cassian cleared his throat, looking towards Az for help who stepped in, "do you want something else?" he asked.

Revenge was the first thought that came to her mind. She ignored Az as she turned towards Feyre and asked, "I am assuming Rhysand told you about my training," Feyre nodded, surprised at being addressed to instead. Az stiffened when Eve ignored him. "So can you help train me?" Eve asked. "Tomorrow morning at seven?" Eve nodded and went back to playing with her food.

There was an awkward air for a few moments after that which was cleared when Feyre decided to take the topic of training up with Cassian.

Eve only looked up again only when Nesta questioned, "Why not just kill the King of Hybern before he can act?"

Amren said a bit softly, "If you want his killing blow, girl, it's yours." Eve gritted her teeth but chose to not scream that the killing blow belonged to her too. To Mike. Her reaction did not go unnoticed by Az.

"What happened to the human queens?" Nesta asked. "They rotted and died painfully?" Eve said, looking at Az. "Or did they become immortal?" Nesta asked. That would increase her work, Eve frowned.

"Reports have been murky and inconsistent. Some say yes, others say no," he replied and Eve's heart sunk- they were probably alive.

"Why?" Cassian asked Nesta. "By the end of this war, I want them dead. The king, the queens—all of them. Promise me you'll kill them all, and I'll help you patch up the wall. I'll train with her" -Amren- "I'll go to the Hewn City or whatever it is ... I'll do it. But only if you promise me that."

"Fine," Feyre said. "And we might need your and Eve's assistance during the meeting with the High Lords—to provide testimony to other courts and allies of what Hybern is capable of. What was done to you both."

"No." Nesta replied while Eve contemplated.

"You don't mind fixing the wall or going to the Court of Nightmares, but speaking to people is where you draw your line?" Nesta's mouth tightened and Eve had to physically stop herself from throwing the spoon in her hand at Feyre.

"No."

"People's lives might depend on your account of it. The success of this meeting with the High Lords might depend upon it."

Nesta gripped the arms of her chair- restraining herself. "Don't talk down to me. My answer is no."

"I understand that what happened to you was horrible—"

"You have no idea what it was or was not. None. And I am not going to grovel like one of those Children of the Blessed, begging High Fae who would have gladly killed me as a mortal to help us. I'm not going to tell them that story—my story."

"The High Lords might not believe our account, which makes you a valuable witness—"

Nesta shoved her chair back and got up. "Then it is not my problem if you're unreliable. I'll help you with the wall, but I am not going to whore my story around to everyone on your behalf. And if you even dare suggest to Elain that she do such a thing, I will rip out your throat."

All eyes turned to Eve after Nesta left. "And you? Will you come? We understand what happened was-" Feyre started. This time Eve interrupted. "You don't know shit so don't act as if you do," she spat. Rhysand tensed. "But .... I will come and speak but don't think for a second it is for you, it isn't. I am only doing this for my Mike." Eve's eyes blazed bright- one thing she hated was how everyone here thought they understood and sympathized- they didn't. And with one last scoff, eyes scanning the table, she left, not noticing how the spoon she had been holding had melted.

Az shifted in his feet. It took everything in him to not follow Eve. "They were right," he said. "Azriel..." Rhys started but Az shook his head. "No, whatever happened in the Cauldron caused them trauma we will never know. We can provide them a shoulder and care for them but, not for a second, can we 'understand' what happened, Rhys." And with that he too left into the night.

*****

Eve went to the library where she met Nesta. "You agreed?" she asked. "Only for Mike."

"They don't get it." Nesta said Eve agreed.

"I hate that they act as if they do." Eve said. "I hate this," she said hoarsely. Nesta just held Eve's eye contact, her eyes conveying that she had found a soul just as broken and rageful.

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the amazing author