Favorite Mistake

FM 25

"Ate, breath please, breath" I heard Jus say beside me, but everything is blurred out. I'm lying on my bed, clutching my pillows, eyes shut from crying for the past hours. I held on to her as she hugged me.

"Jus, I broke up with her. I couldn't even bring myself to call her to explain.. I'm such a coward"

"Shhh.. Shhh.. You 2 need to talk. Tell her everything, I'm sure she'll understand.."

"7 years, and I finished it all in one text message" I again broke down for the nth time tonight.

"Tell Ate Ly the truth, she at least deserves that"

"The truth? What truth? That despite everything she's done for me, I still couldn't stand up to mom for her?"

I bolted from the bed. "Oh my God, she's alone at home right now.. She doesn't even have anybody to comfort her. I need to go" I stood up on shakey legs as I tried to search for my bag. I go around and around, disoriented, an emotional mess.

"Stop, please! You are in no condition to drive, much less to talk to her!"

I fell to the floor as another wave of tears disabled me. "Jus, I love her. I need her. I'd die without her"

Jus knelt beside me "Then don't do this. Just fight for your love"

I reached to touch her cheeks, "but I love you too baby. I know how it feels to lose your family, and I don't ever want you to feel that."

I could see the turmoil in Jus' face. "Don't blame yourself for this baby. This is my choice, and I choose a beter life for you and Mosh".

I got my phone and dialled Ella.

"Hello besh" I tried to supress my tears.

"Oh my God Den! Where are you?!? Ly called me up saying you two broke up?! What the hell?!?"

"Pots, I'm ok, I'm at my parents house. I'll explain some other time. But please, can you go to our apartment now? Ly needs a friend." I bite my lips to stop from crying as Jus hugged me from the back to give me strength.

"Den, I'm sure this is just a small problem. Whatever it is, I know that the 2 of you, you can work this out."

"Not this one Ells. I'm afraid... It's over" I stared out blankly in front of me as I uttered the last words.

It's over
It's over
It's over

It echoed in my ears over and over again as if taunting me, making my head hurt.

"Please take care of her Besh" I closed my eyes and I cried as I ended the call. I collapsed into Jus' arms until I fell asleep.

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I don't know how long I've been crying. I think I've gone to the point that I feel so numb, and the only thing that reminds me of the pain are the tears that continuously fell from my eyes and drenched my shirt.

I check the time, 3am. Surely, she would have changed her mind right now. It was probably a spur of the moment decision and she's going to come home anytime soon. I'm just going to stay right here and I'm not going to sleep because I want to hug her the moment she walks in on that door.

I smash my head in over and over, trying to make sense of what happened.

"I love you" those were here last words before she left. I know she loves me, so she won't leave me this way, not without any explanation, not without giving me a last chance to fight for her.

The doorbell rang and I immediately bolted up and ran to open the door.

"I knew it" I screamed and smiled "I knew you'd come home"

"Ella?" I asked confused.

"Ly.." She walked in. By the way her lips quivered, I knew she was trying to stop from crying. I closed the door and followed her

"What are you doing here?"

"Den asked me to come"

"You spoke with her?! Where is she? What did she say"

"She's at her parents house"

"Come on! Let's go! We need to fetch her. I need to talk to her. She's probably just confused" I was scrambling around the house for my car keys as I tried to put on my shoes.

"LY!!!"

I halted, surprised at Ella's loud scream.

"Stop. We are not going anywhere. You will sleep, and later, when you wake up, we will talk about this."

"No Pots, you see, Den is just probably scared. Maybe her mom threatened her again and she thinks this is the only solution. But you see, I know her, she's not going to leave me. Coz she loves me" I suddenly felt weak, and I sat on the couch

"She loves me Pots" I look up at her, as if convincing her to believe me.

"Ly, I know it hurts.. But you have to respect Den's decision. In time, when you've both had opportunity to think, you'll talk about this. But know's not yet the time."

"She told me she loved me. You see, she was just going home for a reunion. It's Moshy's graduation, and they were going to have dinner. And she brought gifts.." I was scrambling the events of the day. I was an auto-repeat, hitting my head, ruffling my hair, trying to find any clues for her sudden decision, but I couldn't come up with anything

Not in the way she talked, or the way she acted. Definitely not in the way she kissed me and told me she loved me before saying goodbye. I had no idea that by the end of this day, my life would be turned upside down.

Ella held my hands to stop me from further hurting myself. "You have to stop Ly. No matter how you hurt yourself, it's not going to change the fact that Den made her choice."

"WHY ELLS?? I don't understand!!!" I was screaming. I was so angry and I felt like trashing the whole place.

Ella hugged me and stroked my back to calm me down. I now noticed that she too was crying. "Shhh, Ly, get some rest. I'll be here."

I collapsed into her arms as I emptied out all of my tears until I passed out.