Favorite Mistake

FM 8

She was mad, with Ly, with the situation that they were now trapped in, but moreso with herself. She hated herself for all the emotions that she is having right now. She hated it that despite the fact that she knew she was over Ly, thinking about their past still makes her cry. She hates how 2 years after, Alyssa Valdez could still bring back that small part in her, of that lovelorn child experiencing her first love and having her heart crushed.

She hates how the memories that she thought she has pushed deep down to forget have so easily resurfaced.

"Arggghh" Den screamed as she threw her bag with all her might on her bed. Needing to vent out her anger, she kicked the side of her bed and immediately regretted it as she felt a pain shoot out from her foot.

Slumping on the floor, she surrendered to her tears. She cried like that child locked in her room waiting for her knight in shining armor to rescue her. For a moment, she was again that 17 year old girl fighting for her first love and realizing that her love was lost.

She hated all of these feelings. She thought all her tears for Ly have dried up, since that day she swore to forget Alyssa Valdez. But her tears now betray her, slapping her with the reality that the gaping hole left when she lost Ly has not fully healed, she just covered it up with lies for all these years.

She laid on the floor, not having enough strength to haul herself up the bed. Curling in a fetal position, she chose to blame her aching foot for her tears, rather than admit the pain in her heart.

Ly opened the door and found Den lying on the floor.

"Den!" she screamed, running as fast she can towards Den. Kneeling beside her, she picked her up so that she can cradle her.

Den wanted to resist, but she was to weak. All her emotions is hitting her like a raging bull, trampling her heart, and she was in pain. She couldn't fight anymore, and she just allowed herself the luxury of being held in Ly's arms.

"Den, I'm so sorry" Ly said cradling Den gently, stroking her hair and her back to comfort her.

"I know I hurt you. I know you feel as if I never fought for you, but God knows how much I tried Den."

She kissed Den's hair as she felt her own tears gushing. "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to fulfill all of my promises, that I'd never leave you." She pulled Den to sit on her lap so that she could hold her tighter. She wiped the tears flowing from Den's eyes.

"I'm sorry because despite all of these years, I still love you, I never stopped." She kissed the track of Den's tears where it fell from her eyes to her cheeks.

"I hate you" Den whispered.

"I know baby, I deserve that"

"Ly, I know there are a lot of things that we need to talk about. It's not that easy, we need to rebuild trust and... Can we skip all that? Can you just kiss me now?"

Ly closed the gap between them and kissed her passionately. There was no gentleness in this kiss, just the yearning of two souls long lost now found, surrendering to the other.

When Den pulled from the kiss, she held Ly's cheeks and stared at her eyes. "I hate you because despite everything, I still want to feel your love." Den rested her head on Ly's chest as they continued to cry.