"If only you cared" (tommyinnit angst)

Part 20:So what now:

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TW:⚠️Crying, talking about taking own life, talking about feelings?⚠️TW:

The bright light from window shone on my face as I stirred awake.Unfortunately I was still in the hospital due to the fact when I fell I had reopened some on my internal wounds.Meaning I had to stay for 2 more weeks for them to heal up properly.Thinking about it the last two weeks were rough.Talking about my emotions had never been a easy thing for me to do, due to the fact that I like to keep things to myself.Never did I think that I would be sobbing in the arms of my "big brother" after telling him how I wanted to end it all.It was kinda awkward for like a day after but eventually techno must of had enough of it and snapped.

*flashback :)*

We were all just eating food in my room.I knew there was a lot to be said but yet nothing was comming out of anyones mouths.I didn't feel hungry anymore, I felt sick.I wanted to finally blurt out everything but it was as if I was drowning and there was water proventing me from speaking.Looking down in my lap I felt a pair of eyes on me.Knowing most people kept to themselves apart from techno I had a big feeling it was him.I swallowed hard and kept my gaze in my legs.

"Right!" Techno snapped slamming his cup down on the table.
It caused me to flinch and he quickly untensed a little bit.

"What?"phill said confused looking over to techno.

"So where not gonna address the elephant in the room are we?"techno said looking around.

"Look-"dream started but I quickly but in.

"I'm sorry"I said closing my eyes and gripping my pants tightly.

"What, what are you sorry for Tommy?"Phil said looking at me confused.

"I didn't mean to cause you guys this much stress and worry to the point we're it's awkawrd.I know I should keep it to myslef but being comforted felt so damn nice I just couldn't stop myself and I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"I repeated tearing up and shaking slightly.

The whole room fell silent and I let out a sob thinking I had just fucked up again, but I was wrong as just then I felt arms wrap around me and shuffling of people comming over.

"Tommy.Don't ever be sorry for opening up to us.We should be sorry that we didn't notice sooner and help.Your so brave Tommy and you deserve to feel loved and comfortable.We love you Tommy and would stop at nothing to help you."Wilbur said stroking my head.

*Flashback over*

I'm more open since then but still there's so much quilt behind it.

Looking over to my side I see Wilbur snuggled up to me.After that day I had someone sleep with me every night.I didn't come up with it nor did the hospital.Dream decided that I would probably feel more comfortable with someone with me (which spot on I do).Wilbur was the best to sleep with as he was like a walking solar panel.Always warm.I yawned and sat up slightly.Looking in the mirror was so different then what it use to be.I look so different that is.All the truama and what not that I went through hasn't really hit me that much yet but knowing me it will happen soon,and it will hit me like a bus.I had scars everywhere one being one that goes straight across my face.Looking down at my arms, they still have marks and scars.My legs look worse with most scars being still blue,purple and red but for some reason healed and not hurting.My torso tells most of my story well.The scar that runs across my chest shows how close I was to death by the hands of my own blood and the one on my stomach shows just how brave I was.It had cut through my stomach.I should have been dead but I guess good old tommyinnit never dies.

I shook Wilbur awake and he was blocking my way to get up and he just rolled out of bed.I guess the combination of being tired and giving zero fucks made Wilbur just give up and roll off the bed.Pretty sure he forgot that the bed it quiet high meaning....

"FUCK"Wilbur groaned rolling onto his back.

"Morning Wilbur, How was the fall?"I asked holding in my own chuckles.

"Oh shut up child"he spat rubbing his back mumbling.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing at Wilbur's pout.As soon as I started laughing he did as well.I loved mornings like these where everything is ok.

Well that was until...

"Hello Thomas innit"I heard a unrecognisable voice ring from the door way.
I shot my head over to the door and my heart sank.

No.

It couldn't be...

Oh no.......

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Didn't proof read yet agian cause I just can't be bothered :)

AYYYYEEEEE hello my little beans!Sorry I dropped of the face of the earth for a bit, just haven't had motivation as I have been hyperfixated on other things but of course at 3 in the morning I get the motivation lol.Anyway sorry for it being quiet short, I wanted to leave it on a Clift hanger because...I dunno I can.Expect another chapter maybe soon I dunno you never know with me :)

REMEMBER YOUR AMAZING YOUVE GOT THIS AND I LOVE YOU!!!!!

~lapislas4367