The bass of you

Chapter 38

Getting up from the bed, I down more vodka and make my way over to the door. My heart is racing, I'm so nervous. I don't want him to reject me or think I look stupid for coming back. I open the bedroom door and stand still for a moment, trying to build confidence. I hope he doesn't turn me away. Maybe he feels differently about me already for being so awkward and pathetic. Why am I like this? I know I always act awkward around boys, but have I really always acted this stuck-up about it? Oh my God, I'm such a stubborn bitch. I'm never going to get a boyfriend. I should really ask Layla for a tips and just follow her lead from now on.

Deciding that maybe this was a bad idea, I turn around to head back inside my room. But as soon as I do, I hear Chase's door open. I freeze. He's probably looking at me, thinking, what the hell is she doing? I need to turn around and say something to him. I need to make this less awkward than it already is. Why am I still standing still?

Closing my eyes and tightening them for a brief moment, I snap them back open and spin around to face Chase. He's got one arm raised leaning against the door with his head resting on it. Chase is smirking at me. It's a smirk that I'm sure he's giving because he knows why I'm here, why I'm standing in the doorway of my room with the door open. He knows, and he's amused by it. I stare at him, let a smirk play uncontrollably on my lips. That's why he's amused. Chase knows that I was going to come back and probably thinks it's so silly. This is so stupid.

Chase jerks his head to the side, motioning for me to come inside his room. With my heart pounding, my hands shaking, my butterflies growing larger in the pit of my stomach - I close my door. As I walk over to him, he's got his forehead pressed on his forearm as it rests against the door, his eyes watching me, his smirk looking more and more playful.

As I walk past him and into the bedroom, the door shuts. Anxiously, I turn around to face him. But as soon as I do, he's already right in front of me. He steps towards me, looking down at me from his towering height, running a hand over his messy hair. Every step he takes forward, I take back, until my back is against the wall and there's nowhere to go. There's nowhere for me to run to now. Chase is now right in front of me. His hands are on my waist, his bare chest pressed against me, his face right in front of mine. Usually anyone - be it a boy or a girl or even my mum - being this close to me would be intimidating for me. But there's something oddly intimate about this, something exciting, something that's making my breathing shaky. His pouty lips are smirking yet again, like always. With lips like that - smirking looks so good on him.

For a few seconds we just stare at each other, everything on our bodies so close to one another's, the tension building. Then Chase suddenly bends his knees slightly, his hands slide my waist, down to the back of my thighs and grabs them. He picks me up, I gasp at the sudden movement. I've never had someone build so much tension up before we did anything before, and never do anything like this. He presses his body against mine as I wrap my legs around him. Being so close to him when I'm not entirely drunk  - or high - is much nicer. It feels more meaningful, not just some random drunken or stoned experience. I know what I'm doing, and so does he.

Chase leans in and kisses me. The kiss is slow, passionate. He really knows how to build things up - something I'm really not used to. I rest my arms on his shoulders as we kiss, still holding an open bottle of vodka in one. The main light suddenly turns off, but that doesn't distract me and Chase. My back must be against the light switch. Even with the event of the light suddenly switching off, things aren't slowing down how steamy things are getting.

My back is suddenly taken away from the wall and I find myself bobbing up and down while still kissing Chase as he walks away from where we were. He sits me down on the end of the bed and pulls his lips from mine. Straightening up in front of me, the glow of the TV behind him making  him look like a God, he smirks at me and I smirk back. These smirks are different. I don't think I've ever looked at a boy and smirked in such a way. I don't know what effect Chase has on me, but he definitely makes me act different, and even feel different.

Chase lowers himself next to me slowly, his fingers caressing my cheek as he keeps his gaze locked with mine. He traces his fingers down from my cheek, down my neck, to my shoulder. Then he leans over slightly and presses light, gentle kisses on my neck. Closing my eyes, I enjoy his warm kisses, savouring how slow and soft they are. As he's still kissing my neck, his fingers pull down the strap of my dress, sliding it down my shoulder slowly. Turning my torso slightly, I fiddle with the waistband of his jeans and then unbutton them.

He pulls his face away from my neck, lets the strap of my dress hang loosely down my shoulder, and looks at me in the most keenest way I've ever seen him look at anyone or anything. "Take off your dress," he demands softly.

Standing up, I'm really nervous to take off my dress, because I'm not as confident about my body as Layla. But as Chase watches me, I press my lips together, secretly biting my tongue in the nervousness, and let the other strap slide down my shoulder. Gripping the waist of my dress, I pull it down, feeling the material slip down my skin to expose my body to Chase. I've got my eyes closed, and I don't even realise it at first. I don't even remember closing them.

Opening my eyes, standing completely nude – except for my underwear - in front of Chase, I bite down on my lip anxiously as I watch his eyes trace my body from head to toe. I'm dying to know what he's thinking, what he's picking out about my body that he doesn't like. Despite my insecurity about my body, this still seems to feel unbelievably right with him. 

Chase stands up from the bed, stops right in front of me. I can't look up at him, I'm so embarrassed. His warm hand slides around to my back and presses on it, moving my body forward to press against his. He uses his other hand to press his fingertips underneath my chin, urging it up to face him. When I face him, he looks more eager than ever. He bends his neck to kiss me again and then positions me in front of the bed, making sure I stay facing him. Chase pushes me gently back onto the bed, then shuffles his jeans down to his ankles, pulling them off, and throwing them to the floor.

He rests one knee between my legs, his hands resting on the bed either side of me, his face right in front of mine, his body coming over me like a wave. As he comes over me, I lie back, and again we kiss.

Blissful, slow, steady.

A while later, I'm lying in bed, head resting on Chase's chest, with his arm around my shoulder. I'm so tired, I just want to fall asleep. I'm completely naked under the sheets and so is Chase. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be with Chase. Actually, it was amazing. I don't really like talking about sexual experiences or having any comment on how good or bad they were, but this was, by far, the best experience I've had. And the way he built it up was just so exciting. It does make me realise that I'm really not living the way I should be, not letting boys into my life - whether it's just sex or a relationship. No wonder I'm so miserable. I guess it's weird to think that I just had sex with the lead guitarist of Black Dagger.

Chase suddenly rolls me onto my back, his arm still under my neck, and leans over me. "I'm going to the bathroom," he announces calmly. Chase kisses me and then smirks. "You're awesome."

He pulls the covers back and gets out of bed. He walks over to the end of the bed, completely naked, and picks up his jeans. Pulling up his jeans, he raises his eyebrows at me, smirks one last time, before walking into the bathroom, leaving me in the bedroom alone...again. How many times has he left to go in the bathroom and do whatever now. As the bathroom door closes, I wonder what he's doing in there, he seems to like going to the bathroom a lot for long periods of time, but I suppose it's nothing to worry about.

This bed is really comfy, and it feels even better to be under the covers of it completely naked. I really should get up, but I'm so comfy right now, so getting up can wait for a moment. Sliding my arm under the pillow and rolling onto my side to face the window, where the curtains are slightly so I can see some night lights, I think about the experience I just had and start smiling to myself.