The bass of you

Chapter 46

After an hour of sitting on the sofa without saying a word to each other and without me even looking at Chase, I glance to my side to face him briefly. To my surprise - he's already looking at me with broody eyes and I get this feeling that he might have been looking at me for a while. His handsomeness is dangerous. Those alluring smoky-blue hooded eyes and structured facial features draw me in like no other boy has been able to do before. But he's a heroin addict. I must distance myself before I get drawn into the darkness with him.

A hand slowly slides around my back and then my waist. Turning to my side to face Chase, I frown, completely confused by his audacity to touch me. Is he actually touching me right now? After lying to me, hiding his addiction from me, arguing with me, and calling me a bitch? I just stay still, staring at him with a tightened jaw, frowning, obviously requesting to know what the hell he thinks he's doing.

Chase leans forward, his face right by my cheek. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to act out like that. I'm so fucking sorry," he says quietly. "Please forgive me. I'll get help for it, I will."

How can I not forgive him? He's an addict, he can't help himself. It's like an itch you can't scratch. Chase says he'll get help, I believe him. There is no reason for why he shouldn't get help. Of course, it probably won't be while I'm in Cardiff, hanging around with these guys, that he'll get help. But all that matters is that he says he'll get it. Chase's health is important, whether I'm here or not. If I can help it, I won't allow him to become one of those rockstars that die in a drug overdose tragedy. I guess the best thing that I can do right now is show that I support him.

Smiling, I place my hand on Chase's thigh. "Please, do get help. Don't let yourself go down such a dark path."

Chase presses a soft kiss on my cheek and then rests his forehead against my cheek, his arm pulling my waist urging me closer to him. Even though I'm nothing to him and we don't have any special relationship between us, he means something to me. He matters to me. Not in a weird "I love you" sort-of way, more in a way where I've seen the real him. I know that he's worth caring about. And I care for those who treat me like a friend, let alone the way Chase has treated me. Chase has treated me with more than I could ever ask for from anybody.

Having Chase lean his head on me and pull me close to him in way that makes me feel like he appreciates me is heart-warming. I just can't stay mad at him. Turning my body more, I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly. I want him to know that I care for him and that he's got my support. No matter who I am to him.

Now in a better mood, but still worrying about Chase's addiction, I pass my bottle of whiskey to Chase for him to drink the rest of it. Chase looks at the bottle, smiles, then shakes his head. Leaning forward, he grabs a bottle of vodka from the table and instantly downs some down.

Layla is up and dancing with Jace. Layla, Jace, Jackson, Ace, and Wolf all did lines of coke about half an hour ago. They're all so energetic. Jackson is leaning on the arm of the couch, head resting on forearms, watching Layla dance, with a huge grin. He seems entranced by Layla's dancing, fascinated by it in some way. Wolf and Ace are by the stereo system, looking through CD albums, tossing some aside, and putting others in the 'good pile'. Me and Chase are just cuddling. I've got my feet pulled up, curled up on the sofa, shoulder and head resting against Chase. It feels so nice to relax in such a way with him.

Jace comes back over, sits down on the sofa next to Chase, leans forward, and starts setting up more lines of coke. I'm sure all of these boys have a drug problem or a drinking problem, but I'm not sure that they know about Chase with his heroin. I'm confident that they know he's doing it, but almost positive that they have no idea he's completely losing himself in the stuff.

After Jace is done, he motions to the table, offering me some coke, but I politely refuse. I feel like a hypocrite if I do coke while also telling Chase that he needs to get help for his addiction. It's not a very good example I'm showing, or good support at all. It's just influencing him. Jace raises his eyebrows, surprised by my declining, then leans forward and snorts up a thick line. He wipes the powder from his nose and sniffles, then reveals a wicked grin and jumps to his feet.

Layla comes over and while she's walking over, Jackson leans forward, wraps his arms around her waist, and pulls her onto his lap. She screams and giggles playfully as Jackson nuzzles his face in her neck. Ace and Wolf are practically skipping over here as soon as they realise that there is lines set up for them.

I'm beginning to get pretty drunk. I've drank just over half of the bottle of whiskey and I'm in a much happier mood. Chase's skin is getting really sweaty again, my face is sticking to his bare shoulder, and I'm fairly certain I can feel him shaking ever-so-slightly. Closing my eyes, I try to think of ways I'm going to help him, or how I can help him at all - if I can.

Chase smacks my thigh gently twice, then when I move back to look at him, he shuffles forward. "I'm gonna go get more booze," he says as he gets up. When I look at him worriedly, he smirks and bends down to talk to me over the loud music. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do it. I need a distraction, that's all."

Biting my lip and frowning, I nod anxiously and then give a shy smile. Chase rubs his hand across the hair that's covering my ear, then walks past me and towards the door. I uncomfortably watch as Chase exits the lounge, disappearing from sight, and hope so much that he really is getting more booze. Surely, he wouldn't lie to me again...would he? No. I must have trust that he won't break mine again.

Wolf walks through the narrow passage between Jace and the table, then lowers himself on the sofa right next to me. He's been itching to ask me whatever he wanted to ask me earlier before Chase came in here. I can see the concerned look returning to his face. But it's not as strong as it was earlier because he's high. It's hard to take him serious with eyes like that, a bouncing leg, and him head-banging to the song while he's looking at me.

"Hey, what was up with you earlier?" Wolf asks loudly over the music. "You had a look that could kill!"

Deciding that Wolf should know because maybe he can help, I lean forward so that I don't have to shout as much. "You know Chase is a heroin addict right?"

"What!" Wolf shouts, unable to hear me properly over the music.

I lean forward more, until I'm right by his ear. "Chase is addicted to heroin!" I shout into his ear. "He's shooting up so many times throughout the day, it's ridiculous!"

Backing off, I watch Wolf frown. He turns away from me, looks around the room at everyone, stares for a moment at the coke and booze bottles on the table, then looks back at me. He huffs and shakes his head, which makes me nervous. I'm worried I might be sounding stupid, because Wolf might see it as 'partying', without seeing the end of how far partying goes.

Wolf looks back at me, looking confused. "Where is Ryder, anyways?"

Great, the fact that he hasn't said anything about what I said doesn't make me feel any better. I'm feeling even more anxious now and Chase has been gone for like, ten minutes, maybe longer.

Getting up, I shout at Wolf, "he went to go and get booze. I'll be back!"

Turning around, I tighten my eyelids shut, take a deep breath in, open my eyes, and leave the breath out in a sigh as I walk to the door. I'm drunk, but not even that can distract me from feeling nervous about going to Chase's room. I'm worrying about finding him with a needle again, or really mellowed out from doing it. I just don't want to enter such a bizarre scene again, it broke my heart.