Viper's Bite: The Other Rogers

15.

Steve and Bucky boarded their jet again but with much heavier hearts and minds. Looking over, Bucky watched Steve try to wrap his head around something. "Your thinking really hard over there. What is on your mind?"

"Too much, Buck. Too much."

They fell into a tense silence while Bucky tried to let Steve think through whatever he needed to before he asked whatever was on his mind. It took a while but eventually, Steve voiced his thoughts.

"She sounded so cold. Bucky, when did my little sister learn to be so cold?"

Bucky sifted through his memories to pinpoint when he had first heard it. 

"She already had it when she met me. I am not sure when she became that cold, honest Steve."

Steve nodded sadly and looked straight ahead for a while before making a disgusted face and looking at Bucky again. 

"I can't really get mad at you for the way you spoke to her since I am just as guilty but did you say that she lost her virginity in the last month?"

Bucky froze, his eyes widening as he looked out the window, not wanting to meet Steve's eyes. "It, uh, I may have said that." Bucky faked a cough at the end of his answer, hoping to almost hide the fear that had slipped into his voice. 

"Which would mean that she hadn't experienced anything prior, yes?"

Bucky looked at Steve cautiously. "I suppose...?" He really didn't know where the blonde man was going with this. 

"I am proud of her but also a little sad that she didn't have anyone she trusted enough all these years to share that with."

"Oh, yeah. I know she had to handle a lot of pushy men over the years and it made her more hesitant to, erm, follow through."

Steve nodded sadly before reaching across the seat and smacking Bucky hard on the back of his head. "You knew she was my sister when you two, when you, when, that happened."

Bucky rubbed the back of his head and nodded, unable to tell Steve that he hadn't even known at the time. 

"God, she's been back for months! Bucky, months! Why did neither of you tell me? I have been on a wild goose chase trying to find you and tell you that I missed you. I find you only to find out you've been with my little sister for months Buck!"

"She will tell you everything eventually Steve but, the most important part is that we missed you too. She was scared to see you again. I was too. I wanted to remember my life before I faced you again. She wanted to make peace with some stuff in her past first. We both had stuff to work through before facing the most important person in our lives. She might not like either of us right now but she loves you Steve."

Steve glanced sideways at Bucky just as he did the same thing. Meeting the other's gaze made them both smirk and continue their ride to the small apartment in Queens. They left the jet in a field just outside the city and called the authorities to give them the anonymous tip about it's whereabouts. 

As soon as they entered the tiny apartment, both men felt a stab in their hearts. Steve saw how much of his sister was in every room. Her small touches in everything. The wolf blanket on the back of the small couch. The candles on the table. The way the spices were set on the counter instead of the hanging spice rack that was obviously there before they moved in because it was too high for her to use. Going from room to room, he felt her everywhere around him. This was her home and safe place. Knowing she was mad at him and he was there, not her, he felt like he was intruding. 

Bucky felt the stab when he saw her pumps from the contest she had helped supervise before she left, in the hallway still. The way that it looked like she could be home any minute when he knew that wasn't true. He had said so much that he hadn't meant. What had he been thinking? She had never given him a reason to worry. Yeah, she allowed Tony to hold her hand and be closer than the average person but he was Howard's son. That was bound to happen with how much they and acted alike. She felt like a piece of her best friend was back. He couldn't begrudge her that when he felt the same thing with Steve. He looked at his feet and gently kicked at the rug in the kitchen before moving to the single bedroom, their bedroom. 

He kicked off his shoes and stripped out of the grimy clothes from the last 24 hours before turning to see Steve staring at the bed in horror. He quickly threw a pair of pajama pants on and looked over to see Steve still in shock. Only he seemed to be moving from horror and into anger. Looking at the bed, Bucky didn't see anything wrong, it was made and neat, just how both he and Sally preferred it. He laughed the first time she had corrected his hospital corners and got a tighter fit on the bed than him. It had shocked him but made him laugh nonetheless. 

"Steve?"

The anger moved from the bed straight to Bucky's face. "You both have been sharing a bed for months!?! You aren't just roommates Buck! You two, you've had a full blown relationship behind my back. I thought that maybe you two had been trying to come to terms with today's day and age, being roommates since you both had similar backgrounds. Nothing like this Buck. I, she, you, how could you two not tell me?"

Bucky looked back at the bed and decided honesty was the best policy. "We couldn't afford a two bedroom and for a while we tried taking turns between the bed and the floor or couch but, I kept having nightmares and she would always come and lay next to me, help me get back to sleep. That was how we started sharing, it wasn't a sexual thing. We both craved closeness and reassurance. She was my support and I was hers. Her nightmares don't happen as often as mine but they are harder to wake her from. The last night  I was here with her, she thought she would do something nice. The morning I was to leave, she made me her special strawberries and cream waffles with bacon and eggs Steve. She brought it in here, giving me breakfast in bed. When she tried to wake me though, I don't know what happened. I woke up to my hand around her throat and her eyes beginning to close. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is? I nearly killed my girlfriend because she wanted to do something as sweet as make me breakfast in bed. I almost let you guys take me to prison for that alone. 

Steve nodded and thought about how hard life must have been for the pair and why they wouldn't want to tell him about their struggles. He could understand some of their desire to figure it out on their own before talking to anyone else. 

"Has it always been just the two of you?"

"I was in and out of cryo, she was never in Steve. She has lived every war, strife, revolution, and come out the other side. I don't know how to help her since I wasn't there for most of it. You were there for less. I often worry that she doesn't trust people because she has seen too much of them. Hydra lost her for like three years one time. She doesn't remember any of that time though. Pierce thought she might have been around with the Asgardians. She only went AWOL one other time and it was when Thor was taking Loki back to Asgard after New York."

"Wait, she was there?"

Bucky nodded. 

"I could have seen her so much earlier if I wasn't so focused on other things." Steve looked off to the distance as he considered how different things could have been.

Both men stood abruptly when the door squeaked open and closed again.