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Epilogue

1 year later

He hobbled away over the loose rocks by using two crutches. He couldn't walk properly, and may never ever be able to do that again. But despite that, he was keen on at least trying. He had cut his long dark hair so that it didn't hang in his eyes anymore, but maybe he could have used it right now. No, his eyes were still completely empty the longer he crossed the small paved stones and passed hedges and flowers. It was freezing cold and the sky was menacingly gray. He should have listened and put on a pair of gloves, but he did not.

Some distance behind him the girl followed, silent but with two shining eyes that said everything. The grief hung in the air above them.

Then the boy stopped in front of the square. Not much had been made of it and really too little than what he thought was deserved. In his hand, he held spasmodically on to a bunch of flowers. It was a year ago now. They shook, his hands and for a brief moment, he had to look away to gather himself again. It was all so unfair.

Then he took a shaking deep breath and let one crutch fall to the ground. Alicia stepped up to him and grabbed him by the arms, but he assured her that he was in control of it. His voice was hoarse and mushy, and the girl looked at him with a pitying look. It also hurt her.

Jungkook knelt down and although a mixture of numbness and pain sprang up from the jerk, he continued to sit down on his knees. His cold shaking hands still held on tightly to the bouquet of the white flowers after he had now let go of both crutches. The boy sniffed, and maybe it was because of the cold, but it could also have been due to the stuffy feelings. He had otherwise let go of an incredible amount of emotion lately, but it was just as if they kept coming back.

Then he carefully laid the flowers down on the grass in front of the tombstone. The whole movement cut him deep in the heart and he gulped. This was just so unreal. Jungkook still hadn't understood it. In the war against the dogs, Hoseok had saved Alicia from being stabbed to death with a sword, and in turn, he fell into his own death. Hoseok was gone.

Jungkook could now feel something hot rolling down his cold cheeks. He had not even noticed it until now. He cried. He wished he had at least told Hoseok about how much he was grateful for him and all that he had done for him. And that he really loved him. But Hoseok had died on the spot, and the opportunity had never been there. Fuck, Jungkook hated himself deeply for his childish behavior. Hoseok had even apologized, so why couldn't Jungkook just have forgiven him?!

Light snowflakes fell down and lay softly in the boy's hair so that it stood in stark contrast to his dark hair. The flowers at the tomb would die in no time.

Alicia felt bad, almost like she was about to vomit. Everything that had happened had been engraved so deep in her that it had made her ill. It hurt so unbelievably, and it did not help that Jungkook's presence infected her so violently. Just watching him sit here and cry made her stomach make a turn. This was her fault, and this time it was impossible to correct.

She let him sit here for as long as he needed even though his body was shaking uncontrollably from the cold.

Jungkook and Alicia had chosen to move in together after all that had happened. Now they lived together in Alicia's little house. He knew he would never be able to be completely thought-free in Hoseok's house, therefore Jungkook had said that the three underworlders could take it if they wanted. Surprisingly for him, everyone had said no, so he asked Jimin and Iris instead.

_____

Soobin was nowhere to be seen since, it was all more than a whole year ago, and Yeonjun had therefore taken it as if his cousin had run away. At least that was the case until he cleaned up his room and found a hastily written note. It had been said that he had moved because he needed to get away. It was probably just a slightly nicer phrase for 'running away'.