Forced to be with you

Forced 23

It's sunday today and it is church day. Stream and I are in the church right now, attending a mass. Of course, dahil linta talaga si River, kasama na din namin siya.

"Mistakes are innate in us. Everybody commits mistakes, even me as a servant of God. But, instead dwelling on it, why not freed youself from the pain and guilt. Buksan mo ang puso mo sa bagong posibilidad na tatahakin mo. Open your hearts also to forgive those people that hurt you, by that, you can finally achieve what the lord wants. In Romans chapter 4 verses 7-8 ' Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man whom the Lord will not count his name'. Never burden yourself by dwelling on the mistakes someone has done to you or you have done to yourself, but never forget the lesson you gained from it. Kung ang diyos nga nagpatawad sa mabibigat nating mga kasalanan, why not we do it too"

The priest gospeled.

Nang pinatugtog ang ceremonial hymm after ng paring maghomily, napalingon ako ng dahan-dahan sa katabi kong lalaki. Lumingon din siya sa akin at ngumiti. He patted Stream's head while his daughter looking up to him.

I could not help but to think of things about us. It is not like I am still enrage with what he had done in the past that is why I am still having doubts about us. I was enveloped with so much fear due to our past. Natatakot lang ako sa mga bagay-bagay. Mga bagay na mangyayari sa hinaharap.

I look down on my daughter. She is holding her father's hand lovingly. Naalala ko na naman kung papaano ko pinagtapat sa kaniya ang katotohanan tungkol sa ama niya. My original plan was to gradually tells her about him but he found it out the day when River and I is arguing that day when he came to our house to tell me that he already confirmed it legitimately.

Ang sabi kong umalis at umuwi ay hindi niya ginawa. Nabigla nalang ako nasa tabi ko siya at pinapatay ako sa tingin.

" Ano ba River, sabi ko bukas diba?" singhal ko sa inis sa kaniya.

Angt tigas ng ulo!

"I waited for fucking almost 6 years, Cley and I want my daughter to call me daddy!" he fired back.

"Bat di mo nalang kasi inanakan si Molly, edi may batang tumatawag sayo ng daddy gaya ng gusto mo!" I sarcastically said and I totally sounded biitter.

I cleared my throat upon realizing how reckless blabber I am right now so I quicky turn my back at him, then walks towards the kitchen.

Ramdam ko naman na nakasunod siya sa akin and it made the situation worst.. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses akong nakalunok.

"Why would impregnate her if you whom I want to bear my child" madiin niyang turan.

Kumalabog ang dibdib ko ng malakas. Naiinis ako dahil kapag may ganito siyang pakulo ang bilis-bilis ng puso kong bumigay. No matter how much I practice to be passive and unaffected, it still affected and worst, it is drowning in so much emotions.

"Huwag mo kong binibiro River. You know you don't want me to bear your child. I saw it and I witnessed it" paalala ko sa kaniya.

Tumungo ako sa ref at kinuha ang pitsel ng tubig at nagsalin sa baso saka ito inon. Napasulyap ako sa kaniya ng bahagya at nakita ko kung ano ang naging reaksyon niya sa sinabi ko. Buti wala si Stream dito, ayaw akong nakikita niya kaming nag-aaway.

"You might witness it but you never validated it with me. Narinig mo sana sagot ko" paratang niya pa sa amin.

Kumalas ata turnilyo ng utak niya sa sinabi niya.