Forced to be with you

Forced 15

Leaving wasn't my option from the very start because I believe in the old time saying "kapag mahal mo, hindi mo dapat sukuan" but wind change its direction and turned into a whirlwind.

"What is this iha?" Papa Martin asked while looking down on the brown envelope I put down on his table.

He is still the acting CEO of the their company and I can't bear to bring this piece of paper to the man whom I never thought I will be leaving off. Masasaktan ako at mahihirapan akong umalis kung makikita ko pa siya. Baka imbes na makaalis ako mapipilitan na naman ako magstay.

"Annullment paper pa" I directly told him.

Napaangat siya ng tingin sakin ng mabilis. Hindi ko siya masisisi kung nagulat siya sa sinabi ko. Biglaan ito. They though we're jiving but that was all a lie. That was all a play, an acting to be specific.

"Did my son hurt you physically, that is why you gave me this?" marahang tanong niya.

Mabilis kong iniling ang aking ulo para itanggi ang paratang niya. If I am going to be truthful, he did more than just a physical pain.

"Una palang hindi naman po ako ang mahal niya. I realized we forced him to do this. None of this thing is his choice and we both suffered because of that. Gusto ko na pong palayain ang sarili namin sa sitwasyong ito. We will just suffered tremendously if we prolong it more. We both deserve a love that stays and pure" I explained both sides.

Kahit paano hindi ko gustong siraan siya sa daddy niya dahil hindi naman niya ako gaganituhin kung hindi lang siya napilitan sa relasyong ito. I have done my part in persuading and showing my love to him.

Husto na, tama na. Naibigay ko na ang dapat kaya hindi naman ako nagsisisi ngayon dahil alam ko sa sarili ko hindi kulang ang pagmamahal ko. Hindi lang ako sapat sa kaniya kasi hindi naman ako ang hanap niya. Hindi naman ako ang nais niya. Higit sa lahat hindi talaga ako sasapat dahil hindi naman ako ang taong mahal niya. I accept it now.

"May I know what are your plans after this?" he asks me again.

"I don't have a specific plan for now Papa. Gusto ko munang hanapin ang worth ko. Gusto kong hanapin kung saan ako nababagay. I was lost and never been found right now. That was my goal after this" I told him.

I saw him sigh then he stood up and went to me. Umupo siya sa harap ko at mabilis na kinuha ang kamay ko. Dahil doon, nangilid ang mga butil na luha sa aking mukha. They treated me as their real daughter kaya masakit din sa akin na iiwanan sila.

"I won't stop you for doing what you desire. First of all I want to apologize for the trouble I put you into. I brought you here and I couldn't thank you enough for saving us even it sacrificed your freedom" madamdaming wika niya sa akin habang hawak parin ang aking kamay. "Nanghihinayang lang ako na hindi nakita ng anak ko ang sinayang niya" his shoulder equaled.

"Pa, don't blame yourself for dragging me into this because I never regretted my decision. I was the luckiest woman who married the man of her dreams but unfortunately I was not the woman of his dreams that is why I can't fully happy with it. It is only if we accept things, that we can free ourselves from pain" I let all the courage I had inside in my chest while saying it without breaking my voice.

Iniisip ko nalang ngayon, lilisan man ako ngayon, may bitbit parin akong alala sa kaniya. Freedom is always a choice and this is the choice I will be making.

"O iha, napadalaw ka" bungad sa akin ni mama nang biglang yakapin ko siya mula sa likod pagkadating ko.

Naabutan ko sila ni daddy na mag-uusap dito sa lanai ng bahay namin. It is been a while since I last visited here. I miss the smell of the house and corners of the house. I have a lot of memories here and I will surely miss it.