Forced to be with you

Forced 31

When we are young and foolish, we always day dream of an happy ending. Marry the most handsome man in your eyes. Have a family with him and share love until you were grey.

When I thought of it, I just couldn't prevent myself from getting tear up. Marami pa akong bagay na gustong sabihin, gawin, at iparamdam sa kaniya pero agad siyang kinuha sa akin. So, how am I going to do that?

Pinagkaitan na ako ng tadhana na makabawi sa kaniya. Fate always deprive us for a chance to be with each other for a longer time. Gusto ko ako naman ang guguhit ng tadhana ko.

Ako at siya hanggang dulo.

"Pepper come here!" tawag ni Stream sa asong bigay ni Arkin sa kaniya.

The cute shitzu excitedly came running to her. Agad siyang tumihaya na para bang nagpapakamot siya sa nag-aalaga sa kaniya.

"Stream, let's go. Your daddy is waiting for us na" I extended my hand for her to hold it.

"Okay mommy, let me just carry pepper. I want to introduce pepper to him" sagot niya.

Kinarga niya ang aso saka lumapit sa kaniya. The more she grows up, the more that she looks like her father. Napaiwas ako again ng tingin sa kaniya dahil nangingilid na naman ang aking mga luha.

Napakagago mo talaga River. Madaya ka!

I couldn't bear to read what's written on his epitaph. The wound is still fresh and flaky.

"Daddy this is Pepper. I named her because you don't like pepper diba? kapag may naamoy kang pepper, you sneeze kaya sneeze kana daddy para buhay ka ulit" saad ni Stream sa harap ng puntod ng daddy niya.

Pagkagilid ko ng ulo ko, agad kong pinunasan ang mga luhang tuluyan nang bumagsak. Mas lalo akong nalulungkot kapag nakikita ko ang anak ko nagdadasal parin mabuhay ang ama niya.

After River's funeral, bumalik kami ni Stream sa Iloilo. Ayaw nila mommy pero nagpumilit ako. Masyadong maraming alala kami sa Manila at ang sakit sa puso maalala lahat ng iyon kaya minabuti kong doon nalang. Pero yun ang akala ko dahil sa bawat ng sulok ng bahay, naamoy ko siya at naalala ko siya.

Bumalik lang kami ngayon dahil gusto namin siyang dalawin ni Stream. I took a one week leave to stay in Manila. And, it is been 3 months after he had an accident that took his life forever.

"Daddy, balik kana po, hindi na ako magdadaldal masyado. I will talk if needed lang po" saad niya pa.

Lumuhod ako sa tabi ng anak ko.

"Stream, your dad likes your talkativeness. Diba sabi niya lagi, napapasaya mo siya kasi you tell stories about your day everyday?" I told Stream.

She melancholically nodded her head to agree. Hinila ko siya at niyakap.

"I want to see my daddy, mommy. I miss him so much" masuyo niyang wika ulit.

"I miss him too, sweetie. I miss him so much" my last phrase is almost a whisper while I look up the sky.

The wind blew so hard that as if he is listening to our pleas and cries. Na para bang pinaparamdam niya sa amin na nandito siya sa tabi namin at nagmamatyag.

"Anak, ayaw mo ba talagang dito nalang magtrabaho?" hagod ni mommy sa akin.

"Doon na ang buhay namin ni Stream my" masuyo kong sagot.

I saw her release a sigh.

"I just wanted to be near with you. Given what happened to Ri–" she stop upo. realizing that that name is very sensitive to me. " I just wanted to look up for the both of you, kami nila daddy at kuya mo" she rephrased.