Without love no man is a king

31.

Inara enjoyed the coastal retreat. She found it less daunting, fewer people, fewer unkind words thrown her way. She sat on the shoreline, soaking in the cold sea air blowing her hair and making her cheeks glow, silence in a world she still knew little of and did not understand the constant language that surrounded her daily, the silence was a welcome, comforting rest from constantly trying to work out what was happening and what people were saying to her, trying to communicate what was in her mind. At home she was known for her smart wit and intellect, here she felt like a simpleton, trying to string a coherent sentence together. Constantly frustrated that she could not make herself understood or offer her opinion. At home in Dreconton she'd spend many an afternoon or evening enthralled in deep conversation with her friends, with Quimby. With her family. Here she felt very alone still.

"Inara?" The prince battled the wind to reach her "my love? You will catch your death out here. The sea is beautiful but the wind unkind today.....cold" her gestured, rubbing his arms
Inara nodded at him, looking back out at the sea, closing her eyes, soaking in the silence she knew was coming to an end for the day. "Peace" she whispered out with a large inhale of cold air.
"You find it peaceful?" The prince asked, sitting next to her "it must be very hard. Not knowing what we are saying, our strange customs, nature is where you are happiest isn't it?"
"Nature" she nodded picking up a word she recognised
"That is something I can work on. Finding a way to connect you to nature. To your home."
"Home? Dreconton?"
"Yes. I mean no I am not sending you back, like I said it must be very hard for you not understanding, very tiring" he chuckled "will you sit a while with me. In silence." He held his finger to his lips, pointing to the sea, holding out his hand for her to hold. She smiled weakly, placing her small dainty hand in his large one, her head rested on his shoulder. They sat for another ten minutes in complete silence before the prince helped her up off the sand.

"You have sand in your hair" he brushed it off with the back of his hand, pausing to stare into her eyes, feeling bold, he placed his forehead on hers, nuzzling her face as he had seen Cedmond do to his Queen as a sign of affection. Gently placing his lips on hers "I love you" he whispered not moving his face away from hers, holding it in place with his hands "do you want me?" He asked unsurely "does Inara want Roland? Do you love me still?" He paused receiving nothing but silence from her and the sound of the crashing waves in the background "do you want to be my wife?"
"Woman...."
"Forget the woman. Do you want to be my wife?" He asked firmly, still holding her head in place "I want it. Not for peace. For love."
"Roland no love."
"I do. I will say it a thousand times a day if I must until you believe me again."

"Roland....let go....woman....."
"Forget. Her. She is not important. She is nothing. She is gone."
"Never gone" she shook her head, Roland feeling her tears hit the skin on his hands
"I am hard pressed to believe that if I had killed her you would be any happier with me." He spoke softly "it is not the solution to your pain. Despite what your father taught you, your pain would not simply disappear upon her death. It is untrue what he taught you. I know you disagree with him on many things. Try Inara. Try and see things a different way."
"No words. No understand."
"Tell me what you want"
"Death woman my Roland...."

"No! Tell me what you want. Not what your father wants or what you think is expected. Roland only wants to make Inara happy. You are all I am concerned over. My Inara. Roland's Inara. Inara's Roland! Understand! You and I. Happy. Together. Wife and husband. Family."
"No my Roland" Inara cried tears of heartache "woman Roland. No Inara's. No like Inara like woman! Roland make fool Inara. Promise break. No wife. No ever. Gone. No happy. Forever be.....forever be....break."
"No! We are not broken beyond repair! I refuse to believe it. I will do anything to gain back the trust I lost. To win your heart. I know I still have your heart or there would not be these tears falling from you eyes. You would not feel the way I know you do when I do this..." he pulled her face to his, kissing her "love. Love is all that matters Inara. Say you love me. Say it!" He demanded
"No!" She pushed him away, running back to the castle.