Life & Love of the Tormented

Chapter Thirty Six

I wake up in my bed, still fully clothed and my head is fucking pounding. I curse the sun that fills the room like I do every other morning but with a little more hate than usual due to the hangover that instantly starts to set in the moment my swollen eyelids flicker open.

I glance around the room and see my jacket and boots from last night are laid on the floor near my wardrobe. I don't know how the fuck I even got home let alone who put me to bed but at least I'm safe I guess.

Then reality hits me.

Flash backs from last night begin to play out in my head.

Carter.

Fuck.

What'd I do?

I dry heave several times before I can even sit up. My stomach is empty from my vomit show last night outside the club but my body seems to think there's more to come out.

I'm unsure if it's the alcohol or the minimal but vivid memories of last night that is making me want to be sick but I can feel the bile rising in my throat and I can't help but gag.

  Little bits of my poor decisions continue to replay behind my eyes as I rub them viciously trying to get them to focus. This is the part when I really wish I was still asleep. My only escape was my drunken and stoned slumber. When I'm passed out like that, I'm not sad or angry, I'm not hurting, I'm not causing anyone else pain or reliving mine... I'm just... nothing.

  And I continue to crave the nothingness.

Ehh.

Today can fuck right off!

I get up in search of my phone and find it in my bag that has been hung on the corner of the bookcase. It's dead. I plug it into the charger and head to my ensuite to use the bathroom and take a shower.

I turn the water on hot. Hot enough that I can only just bare to step under it. I pray that it'll wash away last night as quickly as it does the soap from my body. Sadly I know it won't. But the burn feels good. It's a very minimal punish from what I actually deserve. I torture myself for a few minutes, turning my skin a bright shade of red before shutting it off and getting out.

I pull on an oversized pj t-shirt once I am dry and then the matching shorts. My skin is still glowing from the shower and I already miss the pain that the burn from the water was bringing me. I tie my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and hop straight back into bed under the covers.

  I feel like fucking death.

  This is going to be a long day.

I check my phone. A text message from Carter flashes on the screen which makes my heart crawl into my throat. There's also one from Matt. I honestly don't even remember giving Matt my number.

'Hope you got home safe. Matt xx'.

Ehh fuck off!

All Carter's says is 'We need to talk.'

Yeah, I can't even think about dealing with any of that right now.

Before long my body gives in to the exhaustion of yet another hangover and I sleep heavily until a knock on my bedroom door wakes me a few hours later.

I barely have my eyes open before I try to sit up. The room spins and my head throbs violently. I curse the obnoxious asshole on the other side of my bedroom door under my breathe as I flop my legs over the edge of my bed.

  FUCK OFF! I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP!

"Coming!", is all that actually leaves my lips out loud. My own voice feeds my headache.