Life & Love of the Tormented

Chapter Twelve

I'm pretty sure I fell asleep about 2:30am-ish. I'm so fucking tired and as soon as I open my eyes I instantly curse the sun that's pouring into my room and painting the walls through a few gaps between the blind blades turning my room a pale shade of orange. It's not even 6:45am yet and the suns out.

Eh. Todays going to be a long one. However I really am looking forward to Uni today. I enjoyed the classes on my first day and hope I feel that way for the rest of the semester.

I slowly and begrudgingly drag my sorry ass out of bed and go straight to the shower in an attempt to wake myself up.

Today's outfit choice is a charcoal and grey tie-dye t-shirt dress that lands just above the knee paired with my black Dock Martin boots and a double tier silver chain necklace. I make a little extra effort with my makeup this morning, doing whatever I can to cover the seriously dark circles under my eyes.

Please work.

  The minimal sleep has me looking like a gremlin and craving a triple espresso or two. I suddenly remember the texts between Carter and I last night or early this morning rather... My stomach flips and dread covered butterflies seep in.

Fuck is this friends idea really a good thing? Am I going to be able to be just his friend? I guess this way I can still have him around without fucking him up. Is this a recipe for disaster? What are you doing Amelia?

  I put my face in my hands. Fuck. Why do I have to be wired in such a fucked up way? I'm tangled and messy and have never had feelings like this before and I've only just met him... I couldn't bare destroy Carter while I'm constantly self destructing. It's probably best I do what I can to keep him an arms length away.

  "Amelia!".

  I pull my bedroom door open, "I'm up Mum", I say sarcastically to Taya who's stood at the doorway.

  "Good, I heard you get up at like 2am, was making sure you didn't over sleep...", she says.

"What would I do without you?", I say dramatically.

"You'd crash and burn you sarcastic bitch!", she replies as she walks toward the kitchen. I follow her laughing, knowing full well she's 100% correct.

"Wow, your mood has shifted since last night.", Taya says sounding surprised.

"Yeah", I shrug.

I turn the coffee machine on, hit the double shot button and let the smell of fresh espresso fill my nostrils, yum.

"So what changed?", Taya presses for answers as she leans her hip against the kitchen counter and folds her arms across her chest.

I shrug again, "Carter and I decided to be friends".

A smirk curls at her lips, "Really? That's fucking awesome!".

"Yeah I don't know... I don't want him to get to close but I don't think I can cut him out completely... ya know?", I admit far too truthfully.

"Wow Meels... He's really rattled you hasn't he?".

  "He really fucking has", I say with a sigh. She looks at me, seeing right through all the bullshit and gives me a knowing look.

"Well I've gotta go. The new receptionist has no idea what she's doing and I need to arrive before she gets in so I can have words with her before everyone else gets there", Taya says gathering her things.

"Have fun with that horrible situation", I reply.

"Yeah thanks... bitch".

  I finish making my coffee and take a welcoming sip. Ahh. The only piece of bliss I can count on amongst my shit storm.