Life & Love of the Tormented

Chapter Thirty Eight

  I search Carter's face as if it's going to reveal to me what I should say.

  "Carter... I..", I really don't know where to start.

  So much of me wants to beg him to forget everything that happened last night and go back to how we were thirty six hours ago but I know we can't. Ben was right, I'm too self destructive to be with Carter. He's to kind and gentle and I'll destroy him while I destroy myself. I have to break this off.

I break eye contact and look out the windscreen into the shadows that surround us.

  "I'm not good for you Carter. I'm a mess. I don't deserve you", I begin.

  He tries to speak but I stop him. Turning to face him again I raise my index finger and plead silently with my eyes for him to let me finish.

  "I'm so fucking sorry for kissing Matt I really am but I know I will continue to hurt you in all kinds of ways if we carry this on. I don't know how to stop it. Pain is all I know. You need to find a nice girl. One that'll love you...".

  Before I can finish my rant Carter leans over the hand break, pushing up onto the centre console to reach me and kisses me gently but full of passion.

  I kiss him back, holding his rugged, 5 o'clock shadowed face in my hands. Before I can even think about trying to stop it our tongues are running across one another in desperation.

  Oh my god I've missed him.

  My arms wrap instinctively around his neck, my hands diving into his hair pulling him as close to me as possible.

  His hands move to my hips as he lifts and pulls me slightly. I climb over the centre console, our lips never parting each other's, to straddle him in the drivers seat.

  I thrust down against him. Grinding my hips, feeling his already hardening member against my centre. One of his hands remains at my hips while the other cups my face delicately during such a passionate moment.

My hands move down his torso until they find the hem of his t-shirt. I pull it bringing it up to lift over his head. When our lips separate, I open my eyes, we make eye contact and everything comes crashing back into me.

  Reality and the reason I'm here in the first place.

  I shouldn't be doing this.

  He pulls my face down to meet his again, finding the spot his lips once were against mine.

  "Carter", I say breathlessly against his mouth, "We shouldn't be doing this...".

  His mouth moves down my jaw, trailing hot kisses down to my neck.

  "Carter", I say through quickened breaths as I try to swallow the sounds of pleasure that are clawing at my throat.

  "We should stop..", a moan drips off every word and I make no attempt to actually put an end to it.

  He nips at the sensitive spot on my neck, I imagine the skin would glow red.

  Holy fuck.

  His tongue darts out and swipes across the bite mark before he presses his lips against it once more and sucks lightly.

  "Soon", he says against my skin.

  He adjusts and sits himself upright slightly, pulling our chests against one another but straightening my back in the process. His hands move down to find the bottom edge of my hoodie and he peels it off my body over my head leaving me in nothing but a black lace bra, straddling him, in his car, in the middle of this dark car park.

  His mouth finds my skin again. He moves wet kisses across my collarbone and down my chest. His hands move to my back making me arch, pushing my breasts up into his face. In what seems like a quick movement my bra becomes unclasped and drops down my arms between us. Carters mouth drops to my left nipple. He cups it deliciously with one hand and curves his lips over it. He pulls it between his teeth sucking and nipping at it gently turning it a brighter shade of pink.

  A moan catches in my throat.

  Carter makes quick work on my jeans. Unbuttoning them and pulling them off of my legs as quickly as he can in the tight space of the drivers seat. I giggle at his surprisingly successful attempt to get me naked. He laughs a little with me before putting his mouth to my skin once again, while reaching down and adjusting the seat as far back as it'll go giving us a little more room to manoeuvre.

  We're kissing again, one of Carters hands is kneading the milky plump flesh of my thigh while the other is pinching and twisting my already hardened nipple.

  I reach down between us finding the elastic waistband of his track pants and pull them and his boxers down just enough to free his erection from the fabric.

I take control of the situation grabbing both of Carter's hands and pinning them above his head and holding them there with one hand. I lift myself up and hover over him. I move my g-string to the side allowing access and lower myself onto Carter.

  He takes in a sharp breath as he fills me entirely.

  "Oh", I moan, my eyes rolling into my head and my head falling back.

  I arch and begin to move up and down. Slowly. Savouring every moment knowing it'll be the last time I'm with Carter this way.

Our breathing builds, harder and faster along with my movements on top of him. Carter begins to thrust up, meeting me as I come down onto him. Fuck this feels so good.

  "Amelia please ", Carter moans as he tries to release his hands free from mine.

I can feel my orgasm building in my bell. I let my hands drop to his shoulders, giving me more stability to bounce on top of him.

  Once his hands are free from my grip they immediately move to my hips, helping lift me up and down.

"Oh fuuuuuuck", he moans, dragging out the u in word and rolling my hips over him.

Carter pulls me, causing my once arched back to slump forward. My hands find the headrest of his seat behind his head and my elbows now rest on his shoulders. Our mouths meet briefly, our tongues darting in and out of each other's mouths.

"Carter I'm going to...", I moan against his lips.

  Holy fuck.

  He thrusts up into me harder. Our breathing becomes ragged and our movements sloppy.

  "Yes yes oh", I moan.

  Carter cups my cheek, moving my face so our foreheads are resting against each other.

  "Open your eyes Amelia", he says, his voice husky.

  My eyes snap open, locking instantly with his sharp blue ones and I come undone.

"Ohhh yes", I moan as I orgasm around him.

  Following suit he presses his lips against my partially open mouth as he empties himself into me.

Carter and my foreheads rest against each other for a moment longer as we catch our breath. My eyes are now closed and I'm focusing on my breathing.

  Wow.

  After a minute, one of his hands comes up to cup my face again.

  "Amelia?", he whispers softly.

  I open my eyes and slowly move them to meet his.

  "I don't want to find anyone else, I want you".