Life & Love of the Tormented

Chapter Forty Three

I can hear Matt's concern and still I struggle to find any words.

"I don't know if I can do this", I eventually squeak out, bringing my hands up to cover my face.

Matt moves himself away from me in a slight panic.

"Did I read this situation all wrong?...", he asks, the worry growing more apparent in his voice.

I stop him, sitting myself up and pulling my knees hard against my chest in an attempt to cover my almost completely bare torso.

"No no, you didn't... I just... I realised that... I really am not ready... Because well... You know... I just broke up with Carter and.... I'm sorry", I stammer out.

"You don't have to be sorry, I get it...", he says as he reaches up and brushes my cheek.

Matt swings his legs over the side of the bed and stands. He pulls his t-shirt back over his head and adjusts his hair.

"You're leaving?", I ask awkwardly.

"Do you really want me to stay? Because I mean I don't have to go but...".

"No stay... Please...", I say cutting him off, "Only if you want to...".

"Of course I want to.. I like you Amelia, I just don't want you to feel pressured to ask me to stay because of what just happened there", he says.

There's a pause before I speak again.

"Well I like you too Matt... Just not... I don't know... I would really like you to stay though... If you want? Can we start with getting to know each other a little more first?".

"Friends?...", he asks.

"At least to begin with...", I answer smirking...

He smiles and joins me again on the bed.

"I can do that", he says.

When we finish watching the movie, we go on to choosing another. We basically talked and laughed through the whole first one.

Matt is actually quite a cool guy. I've learnt so much about him in this short time. He had his heart broken when he was eighteen by an older woman who played him. He lives with his band mates. He's super close with his father, even though he lives in Sydney. And he has 3 sisters, they're triplets, they're fourteen and are his Mum and Step Dad's children.

I can see us being really good mates...

He didn't press once when I deflected his questions about my life and childhood. It's just easy and fun and there's really no feelings, which is the best part.

Some mild sexual tension maybe... But no feelings.

"This one?", I ask motioning to the TV which has 'Chucky's Bride' up on the screen.

"Fuck yeah!", Matt says excitedly.

He's still laughing about the video we'd just watched on YouTube of some guy who is in a relationship with a silicone doll, hence why we chose to watch 'Chucky's Bride'.

  Before we even make it half way through the second movie, Matt has fallen asleep next to me. I look down at him and roll my eyes before turning off the TV and heading to the ensuite to change into my pyjamas.

Once I've brushed my teeth and tied my hair back, I'm ready for bed.

I climb in next to Matt, avoiding any physical contact with him and rolling onto my side to make myself comfortable.

  I'm really not sure how I got to this point right now, with someone I barely know laying next to me in my bed. All I'm certain of is my heart is breaking and I miss Carter more than I thought I ever would but I'm so glad I'm not alone tonight.