Life & Love of the Tormented

Chapter Forty Seven

  At the hospital a doctor and a nurse look me over.

My wounds have been cleaned and patched and the glass they found in my skin has been removed. The deeper slashes, like the ones on my head and forearm have been glued shut which is a better alternative to stitches.

  "Most are just superficial cuts and scratches that should heal fairly quickly. Along with the bruising...", the doctor says gesturing to my neck and shoulder where black and purple bruises cover my skin.

"You came down onto the corner of your dresser quite hard it seems. You're lucky you didn't break your neck... The bruising should all subside over the next week or two", he continues.

No wonder my throat and neck hurts and I can barely talk.

"The glue that I've used to seal your head, chin and wrist will eventually drop off as the skin heals itself back together. I've also prescribed you with some codeine pain killers. Please follow the directions on the box and do no exceed the recommended dosage. I also recommend you do not drink alcohol while taking them as the consequences could be severe", he says finishing his speel and giving me a stern look.

"Thank you doctor", Taya and I say at the same time as I climb off the hospital bed holding her arm for balance.

  I've sobered up dramatically since Ben dropped us at the hospital and the pain from all my injuries has really started to set in.

The embarrassment from what I did to myself starts to creep up my spine as we make our way to the exit of the hospital where Ben is waiting to pick us up.

What the fuck was I thinking getting that shit faced?

Eh, if I didn't hate myself before, I fucking do now. And by the look of both my friends faces... I've disappointed them too...

  "I called your Mum", Taya says, turning to face me in the back seat.

Ben is driving and for some reason I feel like if he wasn't, this would be some kind of ultimatum.

"What...? Why'd you call my Mum?", I croak out.

I'm completely caught off guard. Why the fuck would she do that!?

  "I... well we... think... maybe.. you should go stay with her and Ria for a bit...", Taya says nervously.

"Why!?", I ask, annoyance bleeding into my raspy voice.

"Because Meels... you need some time away... You need your Mum...", Taya says.

  As much as this little surprise that Taya and Ben have cooked up has pissed me off, I know they mean well. I really do need to get myself back to a manageable level. My mental health does this every now and again and I fall off the wagon. I think meeting and falling so quickly for Carter and my father trying to get back into my life has a lot to do with this episode.

  "Your flight leaves tomorrow afternoon.", Taya says.

"I've also contacted the University and they're going to forward all the work and assessments for the next month to you so you can complete them while you're away", she continues.

"I also think you should consider going back to your therapist... Or seeing one while you're up at Mums...", Taya finishes smiling at me.

  In this very moment I want to shout in her face. Tell her to fuck off and stay out of my business and my life but ultimately I know my best friend is right... About everything...

Why don't I listen to her?

This isn't the first time she's done this with me either. This isn't my first spiral she's had to witness and I highly doubt it'll be the last. I'm fucked up and she always seems to be the one that knows what's best for me when I'm in this state.

  "Okay", is all I manage to say. I'm exhausted and don't want to argue with her because I know I'm not going to win.

Taya turns back around to face out the windscreen seemingly satisfied with the conversation.

  I lay my head back and look up at the roof of the car.

"Ah hmm", Ben clears his throat making me snap my head up and make eye contact with him through the rear view mirror.

  "What?", I ask.

  "I called Carter and he's waiting at your place for you".

WHAT THE FUCK!? ...

I scoff.

"Why the fuck would he be waiting for me?", I'm almost whispering to avoid pain shooting into my throat.

"Because he loves you Amelia", Ben says.

"No he doesn't and even if he did, we can't be together... He thinks I'm a whore", I say with disgust in my voice.

"No he doesn't!", Ben says raising his voice.

I roll my eyes dramatically, he fucking does.

"Well... I need to sort myself out and shit before we can even think...".

   "Just have tonight... He wants to see you", Taya says cutting me off.

"Whatever", I say in a harsh raspy muted tone.

Fuck.

  When we pull into the driveway Carter is sat at the front door with his knees pulled up to his chest. As soon as Ben puts the car into park he jumps to his feet and makes his way to the back door of the car pulling it open.

"Hey you", he says with a small smile.

"Hey", I say barely able to speak as I try to climb out. Carter stops me and scoops me into his arms. My arms automatically wrap around his neck and I nuzzle my face in.

  "Fuck baby, look at you", he whispers to me as he looks over my wounds.

  "Mmm", I grunt out.

Carter carries me inside the house and to my room.

The glass and blood and destruction that was once on my bedroom floor has been cleaned up. My bedsheets have been changed and everything has been tidied and straightened up.

What the fuck?

  Carter lays me down on my bed, gently placing my head on my pillow.

"Stay here, I'll be right back okay?", he says before disappearing out my bedroom door and down the hallway.

I drag myself up off my bed and take another look around my room. Ben must have done this after he dropped Taya and I at the hospital.

I have to remember to thank him tomorrow. I don't think I could have faced seeing the chaos I caused now that my vision is clear.

  I try make my way to the ensuite. I need to get out of these clothes and shower. My body aches from the fabric still clung to me by the now dried blood.

"Hey hey hey, what are you doing?", Carter says rushing over to me as he renters my room.

He places the glass of water and pain killers he has in his hands on my side table before wrapping his arms around me.

I lean into him running out of strength from trying to hold myself up.

What an absolute mess we are and yet right now feels so perfect being here with him.

Carter leans in to kiss my temple.

"What are you doing baby?", he asks me in a soft whisper.

"I need to shower. These clothes... They hurt...", I croak out.

  "Let me help?", he asks gesturing me to the adjoining bathroom.