The 80/20 Rule // knj [COMPLETED]

14 • Sawzall

🎭 Namjoon 🎭

Swallowing the embarrassment of my past actions, I respond, "Entirely too much and that was wrong of me."

Theda scoffs. "Do you have any idea how stupid I felt having to ask my mama for money to pay rent when she worked the same damn hours I did?"

"Theda.."

"Do you know how much of an idiot I was made out to be because I had to ask for fucking handouts while your ass was out gallivanting around town with your whore ass friends?"

"Natheda, please.."

Her hands ball into tiny fists preparing to sting me. "Do you know how much shit my mother-"

"Mama forgave me."

Her anger is still very much present however wavering. "What did you just say?"

"I said Mama forgave me. A few years ago during one of my visits, I gave her back all of the money you had to borrow when we were together. I also finished paying off her house and her car as an apology for being so stupid back then."

Theda blinks unbelievably at me. "You.. what..?"

"I told you, people can change with time and money. Mama knows she will never have to worry about anything for the rest of her days. I'm only one phone call away."

"She is my mother, Namjoon. Not yours! Take care of your own people!"

"I have," I reply crossing my arms and blinking away my feelings. "They have beautiful headstones and fresh flowers when needed."

Theda goes quiet. Her once tense stance softens and her fists relax at her sides.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know.. I'm so sorry, Namjoon. When did it happen?"

"My father went first just after I turned thirty. My mother only hung on for a few months after that. She didn't want to be without him."

"Oh. They were lovely people even though I don't believe they cared for me much."

I chuckle remembering my mother's words after I introduced Theda as my wife. "Mother said I wasn't thinking with the right head when we married."

"We forced it. We weren't meant to be married."

"I disagree. The timing just wasn't right. Had we waited, I think we had enough sustenance to nurture something wonderful together."

Sighing, Theda shifts on her feet. "I'm not sure either of us were using our heads at all. We never took into account that marriage involved a lot more than we bargained for and both of us were still too selfish, at times one more than the other."

"I'm sorry about.. all of that. I wish I noticed then what is so obvious to me now."

Her face saddens no doubt recollecting past memories that visibly upset her. I always hated seeing her this way; her gorgeous smile is hidden behind a wall of pain.

"Oh well," Theda states matter-of-factly. She brings her glass to her lips and before taking a sip she adds, "You live and you learn."

FLASHBACK: TWENTY-TWO YEARS AGO
AGE: 21

🎭 Namjoon 🎭

"Theda! Baby, get up! It's almost eleven-thirty!"

Theda doesn't move from her spot in bed. She tugs the blanket tighter around her body without a word.