The 80/20 Rule // knj [COMPLETED]

21 • Holding Back

🎭 Natheda 🎭

"I realize that, but I am grateful that wasn't the case. I am truly happy you were able to have a healthy child.."

Namjoon studies my face as his words soften. It almost appears a wall has dropped in his mind and his eyes plead for my forgiveness.

"..even if it was by another man."

"The last thing our marriage needed was another child. You could almost call what happened a blessing in disguise."

He frowns at my words. "If you consider the situation to be a blessing, why were you so upset that you weren't pregnant?"

"I was more upset about the other part of that situation."

"Understandably so."

My cellphone buzzes in my purse relieving me of our current topic. Unlocking my device, I smile softly at the image on my screen.

"Happy news?" Namjoon questions taking another sip of his drink.

"It's Lyn. She sent a photo of her, Mark, and one of their grandbabies in matching pajamas. She said this is reason she's not here tonight."

"May I?"

I turn my phone around to show him my best friend and her family. Namjoon gives the picture a smile then he licks his lips and rolls his eyes away.

"She and Mark are still married I see."

I nod once again smiling at the photo. "Yes. They have three children and two grandchildren. The little one in this photo is by their oldest. He lives the farthest away and Lyn never gets to see him so it doesn't surprise me that she decided to bail on the reunion."

"I suppose Lyn still hates me."

I snicker as I tuck my phone away. "She calls you Voldemort."

"Who?"

"The bad guy from- you know what? Nevermind. I will say you are on her list of unfavorable people."

"She is also on my list but of a different type. It's a list of apologies. Lyn will probably still hate me even after it is all said and done, but at least she will know how sorry I am for anything I did that offended her."

"Is this a legitimate list or hypothetical?"

"Legitimate," he hangs his head, embarrassed. "I know how wrong my past actions were and I want to make things right or at least try to. If it doesn't work out, at least I know that I did try."

"How long is this list?"

Namjoon's lip curls into a smirk. His dimple makes an appearance.

"Let's put it this way. The only people left on it are you, Lyn, and Julian though I doubt neither Lyn nor Julian will forgive me without clearing the air with you first."

"Lyn may not forgive you even if the air is clear between us."

"And I will accept that.." he begins as he stares deep into my eyes. This isn't a regular look Namjoon is giving me; it is a look of hope and another deeply buried emotion I never thought he had the ability to show.

It almost looks like..

"..as long as that means you will have forgiven me, Theda."

My throat runs dry. I observe my ex-husband's expectant expression as he silently waits for my response.

"Is this a formal apology, Namjoon?" My voice is weak.

"I've played this scenario over and over again in my mind, and each time the outcome changes. The only constant is the extreme angst that comes before your reply."