The 80/20 Rule // knj [COMPLETED]

29 • Godspeed

🎭 Natheda 🎭

Three weeks have passed since the night of my class reunion. Against my better judgment, Namjoon and I exchanged phone numbers that night as a 'we'll always be friends' kind of gesture before parting ways.

He hid his heartbreak well, I'll give him that. When I denied his proposal as I laid naked in his hotel bed wrapped in his arms with an expensive engagement ring in front of my face, his voice only cracked once as he begged me for the final time.

The following Thursday after the reunion would be the first time I heard from Namjoon. He sent flowers to my office -a white Lily of the valley bouquet, my favorite flower- with a card that read 'Godspeed'.

I told my assistant I didn't want to be interrupted for the next hour and proceeded to lock myself in my office bathroom to cry. I only allowed an hour of my day to be dedicated to the memory of what was and the death of what could have been before I dried it up, fixed my makeup, and got back to business.

The atmosphere between Jungkook and I is noticeably tense which is a completely new aspect we have never had to endure together. I know I don't deserve his forgiveness, but I do love him and I keep kicking my own ass for not fully accepting that fact sooner.

I tell him I love him everyday. Whether it be through a text, over the phone, or the few times he and I have seen each other, I ensure he knows how I feel about him hasn't changed whatsoever.

Sitting on the opposite side of the dinner table from the most kindhearted, loving man I have ever met, I anxiously use my fingertips to twist the bottom of my wine glass. This is our second "date" since my confession.

My eyes trail over Jungkook's solemn expression. He looks tired as if sleep doesn't come easy for him anymore and I know I am to blame.

"How was your meal?" I ask, attempting to break the silence.

"Fine," he replies wiping his mouth with his napkin.

I roll my lips together, dropping my sight to my busy fingers. "I, uhm, heard from my doctor yesterday."

Jungkook's eyes jerk up to my face. His face remains stony.

"What did they have to say?"

Clearing my throat, I deliver the news. "They said I am negative for any infections or diseases."

He nods looking into his own wine glass. "Oh. That's good."

"Mmhm. Yeah."

Again we go quiet. The soft murmurs of conversation around us fill the silence.

"I love you, Jungkook, and I would like for us to be together again."

His saddened eyes meet mine. "Do you still speak to him?"

"I don't have a reason to."

"But you could call him right now if you wanted, couldn't you?"

My brows draw together. "What difference does that make?"

"The difference that makes, Natheda, is that I don't want the anxiety of waiting up all night for you to come home to me again."

He closes his eyes with a thick swallow. "It was hell not knowing that you were safe."

"I do have Namjoon's number, but I don't talk to him. And you dont have to worry about me doing something so horrible again. I'm sorry."

Jungkook hangs his head. He uses his fingertips to wipe at his eyes.

"If I agree to give this.. us.. another chance, I don't want to be your boyfriend for another four years. You understand that I want something more serious than that?"