The New Start

Chapter 31

I love all of you. Thank you so much for being so patient with me. This chapter has taken so long to get out, and it's not even that good or that long. I'm so sorry. 

Enjoy

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Techno pov: 

I woke up, or I wouldn't say woke up; I have been awake the whole time. Or so I think.

I tried to stand up, but the back dots were still dancing in front of my eyes. Everything felt as before, except the gravity. I was actually able to stand up, it was just that it felt like my body was drained of all energy, like my feet just couldn't hole my body up. It felt like a nightmare. But of course, wouldn't I just listen to my body and let my body rest? No, I wanted to get up on my feet, even if my vision would kill me.

So I got up on my feet, and neither Phil nor Foolish noticed me. They just stood there and mumbled something in a weird language, an old language. I walked over to the circle, slowly and unsteady. I could just see around 20% of my original vision. But I walked towards the circle on the floor, not actually knowing what I was doing. It didn't feel like anything, actually.

I just really wanted to wake up, calling all this a terrible nightmare, and I woke up with Dream beside me, hugging me tightly before I helped him up from the bed and we walked out to the kitchen, insisting on him eating while he complained about it not being necessary since he didn't eat in prison, and then we ended up arguing about nothing before Phil came in and we both sat down on the couch eating and just existing, living like nothing ever happened.

But this wasn't a nightmare, this was as real as life could be, Dream was dead and I tried to revive him without having an actual idea of what I was doing, and it terrified me. It terrified me more than anything. So I walked to the circle and stopped one metre beside it, staring at the now glowing circle. It had this Lavendel glow, probably from the crystals, and these weird symbols had started glowing too, almost duplicating themselves in the air, like glowing symbols floating around in the air.

My hand slowly started to move against the symbols, and I noticed how my fingers got warmer and warmer as I came closer to them. It was like the symbols were on fire, but they had this cold, purple-toned color. Nothing showed that they were warm, nothing, but they were, or it was something my mind came up with, something to just make the reality so much more weird.

Maybe my mind came up with all this shit, maybe I just was back home in my cabin and all the is just a hallucination, what if I have been asleep all this time, what if I never rescued Dream from the prison, what if I died when I fought Sam on the top on the prison, what if he knocked me over the edge and I didn't save myself, what if my body is pressed agains the ground outside the prison and all the thing I have gone taught is just something my mind is making up while im gone.

But in one way, I knew that this was real; I didn't lose when I fought Sam, I did rescue Dream, and Dream did die. So all of this shit is actually real. This isn't something I'm just making up. And that's scary. Yes, the Blood God is scared. I won't say it out loud to Phil, but if he saw me, I think he would notice the way my hand is shaking, the way my eyes are filled with insecurity, and how my whole body is acting.

I took my hand back and just stood there staring at the symbols that were dancing in the air. "Phil?" I asked, but as I had thought, he didn't answer. He just stood there looking down at the papers in the book. A part of me wanted to feel hurt since he just ignored me, but another part of me felt bad and guilty for feeling that way. He did everything he could to save Dream, and the fact that he ignored me was just to live with. It shouldn't bother me that much. He's a God, after all.

And then I just fell down on my knees, and the gravity that once made me go back to normal had come back, and it felt stronger this time. Maybe it meant that the thing Phil and Foolish did was working, or maybe it meant that it wasn't. I hoped for the first, but a part of me knows that I won't survive this if this fails. It just doesn't work.

And I don't know about George. What about him? Yes, I haven't paid that much attention to him, and I actually don't know how he is. The last time I saw him was under a bed with Dream in it, and he didn't look good, if I should be honest. And that's an understatement; he looked terrible, actually. It didn't look like he had slept for an eternity, but I realised that my mind didn't actually care that much about George right now. It just needed something to think about, something to distract itself from the pain that comes with being crushed under gravity.

And after something between seconds and hours, everything went dark.

I don't know how long I was gone. Maybe it was just seconds, or maybe it was hours. It didn't really feel like anything. And when I woke up, everything felt so unreal, like I was watching my body from above, like I was a ghost or like my soul had left my body and I just didn't feel anything anymore. It was like a dream. God, I hate how life is. Why did he have such a lovely name? Why did he have it named Dream? Why did he have to come up in all my thoughts? He is driving me crazy.

And then I think I blacked out again. The pressure on my body became too much for me. Gravity didn't like me, the universe didn't like me. And maybe that was a selfish thought. Phil did this for me. He knew how much I needed Dream and he was doing this because I broke down the day he died. He was doing all this for me to be happy, and I can't thank him enough.

When I woke up from my blackout, everything was glowing. Not that it was completely dark before, but even the stone in the wall was glowing. Phil and Foolish, even though I was glowing. A cold Lavendel glow that surrounded my body and every move I made. The ground had this purple glow that just made everything look so magical, and maybe it actually was. We tried to bring someone back to life without the revival book, so something magic should have been predicted.

But then I winked, and when my eyes opened again, nothing was glowing anymore. Phil and Foolish took a step back from where they had stood for the last hour. It must have been hours. And they both looked at me. I thought they would be exhausted after this, but it looked like they were full of energy, and I was drained of every little bit of strength my body had left. I felt weak.

But I dragged myself up on my feet and was wrapped in Phil's arms. I didn't know I needed it before he hugged me and I felt good. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but it felt good to be hugged again.

"Was-was-, did it work?" I asked, my voice sharp but so fragile, so vulnerable. "I'm not sure." Phil admitted, hugging me closer before pulling me aside and looking at me. It felt like someone had dropped a bomb in my head. Maybe it didn't work. Phil didn't know if it was working. I didn't know if it was working.

"We just need to wait and see." Phil said with a calm voice before starting to walk back home, letting everything be where it was, and when I looked back, Foolish was also gone. I don't know how he disappeared, but he did, and when I turned back, Phil was also gone. My mind didn't work and I didn't like it, but I started walking home, too tired to teleport or too tired to use my trident.

So I walked. I walked with tired feet and a drained mind. I walked all the way back home and collapsed on the couch, and then everything turned black again. And this has happened so many times today that I don't even know how to count them. And I didn't like it. 

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I don't know what this is. A part of me hates the chapter, and I don't know if I want to post it or not. It took such a long time to get this chapter out, so I don't know if it's okay.

This turned out so weird, but it's okay right now.

Should I buy a binder? I'm not out to my parents, but I really want one... but I don't want my parents to find the package, but I really want a binder... Life is shit. 

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