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My mom's drunk... again. Second time this week, I mean I get it 'cause she literally has no free time, but girl- you got kids. This isn't something she usually does, she's been depressed ever since Santi died, but this is the first time I've ever seen her like this.
She's very strong...
She never gets belligerently drunk tho. I start to take off her heels, she insists that I shouldn't be helping her when she gets like this, but she's too messed up, so I do it for her. "Don't end up like me," she says, her voice quiet but scratchy. I put her heels in her closet, "what do you mean?".
"Get pregnant at 14... fall in love with the wrong person who you thought loved you... have three kids at 25, each with no father- look, all I'm sayin' is... be better than me. No matter what you grew up seeing or hearing, just don't," she sighs. "You're not a bad person..." I grab a shirt for her.
"I am. You just don't see it," she shakes her head. I help take off her skirt, "no one's really a bad person... their actions are. You think you're a bad person, but you're the best to me". I take her top off as the biggest smile appears on her face. She won't remember half of this tomorrow.
She slowly drags the oversized shirt over herself. I wipe her makeup off and I lay down with her. I'm laying on her chest, her chins resting on the top of my head as she plays with my hair. She always tells me a story about when she was younger, It helps me sleep even on her bad days.
I take a deep breath, "how did you tell Cesar you were pregnant with me?". "Well... I didn't make really good decisions when I was younger, so when I found out I ghosted him for almost a month, he showed up at grandpa's doorstep accusing me of doing inappropriate things with other guys. When I told him I was pregnant he was all in... he took very good care of you even when I was pregnant, but I don't know what happened after four years," she sighs.
"A few weeks after you were born we started fighting a lot, we almost got violent one time. But then I heard your little cry upstairs then realized whatever we were doing wasn't right, that we had to step up our game in order to protect you," she kisses the top of my head.
"When you were four after I got out of jail, we bought a house together so we could be a family. I had, still have a lot of mental health issues, which caused our arguments to get more heated, our little family was slowly falling apart. When I was three months pregnant with Analia, I told Cesar that we needed a break because he wasn't doing what he needed to do for you, that we needed time and space to be good parents for our daughters," she speaks softly.
I love her voice.
She was still semi-sober at least. "So, after being on my own for the rest of my pregnancy along with taking care of you he wanted to step in... he was doing good until he got me in a moment. Never trust boys 'cause niggas ain't shit, Mami," she takes a deep breath.
"They use you for your body, they'll sweet talk you until you give it up. Don't fall for it," she kisses my head again. "I know," I smile a little. She sighs, "I love you... a lot, with my whole heart". she squeezes my hand. "I love you too," I squeeze hers back.
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~How y'all like that for Rosa's first chapter?
~Monse?
~Rosa?
~"no one's really a bad person... their actions are. You think you're a bad person, but you're the best to me" - thoughts and opinions on that?
~Monse saying she's a bad person?
~Who's POV next?
~Make sure to VOTE and answer all questions above :)
