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"𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬"
𝐀𝐬 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐧 the kitchen stirring Roger's coffee, I was in a dream world thinking of the events of last night. He said he loved me. But when I asked him if he remembered anything from last night, he replied with a 'no'. He didn't remember anything from coming home to falling asleep. It made me a little sad if I'm honest, I'd have thought he would at least remember that. "Babe?" a voice from behind me cuts me out of my trance.
"I think that coffee's been stirred enough, don't you?" I look down at the mug and see a few bits of the liquid had spilt from my aggressive mixing. "Sorry." I laugh. "Miles away." "Clearly." he laughs taking his mug. "You sure you're okay? You seem to be off... have been since we woke up, to be honest." "Just a bit of a hangover, is all." I make a faux smile. "If you say so, baby." he shrugs. He sips his drink and hums, "Delicious, thank you." He quickly kisses me before going back into the living room.
Without thinking of the consequences, I slowly roll up my sleeve on the jumper I was wearing and take the spoon - that was still red hot from the coffee - and press it against my flesh, for the first five seconds it didn't hurt, but when it did, it felt good, like all the sadness I was feeling melted away. I pull the spoon away and look at the red mark the stainless steel left, that'll for sure leave some sort of a permanent mark.
I roll down my sleeve and dunk the spook into the washing up bowl full of water and dish soap. I put of a small smile and walk back into the living room to see Roger watching the news, "Anything good happening in the world?" I ask sitting next to him. "Same old, same old." he sighs. "Nothing's ever on on a Saturday." Maybe this was a good time to talk about me moving in, I think I have a decision made up for him.
I didn't want to be away from him, like ever, "I have an answer for you." I speak up. "For what?" he raises an eyebrow still looking at the TV. "Me moving in?" I say. His attention from the TV was destroyed the moment I told him, "Huh?" "I don't want to be away from you, ever." I say. "I want to wake up everyday with you next to me, I want to kiss you every time we wake up, I even want to make you chocolate chip pancakes in bed on a special day. I don't want any of this to change, because..." I paused remembering what he said in his drunk state last night.
Come on, Willow! Muster up the courage to say it! "I..." Come on! Don't be a fucking pussy! "...like being with you." Idiot! "So... if you want, can I move in with you?" We stare for a good few seconds until he grins and stands, my eyes following him. "I felt like you would say yes as I knew you couldn't resist my charm." he flips his blonde hair making me giggle. "So... I did something a little sneaky when you was in the shower... and put the spare key on your key chain."
