My Only Sunshine || BakugoxSoftReader ||

32 - Numb

Bakugo's Perspective

I lounged from the door to the living room, feeling too lazy to do anything but watch TV for an hour.

My mind was still on (Y/N), still thinking about her stupid face. Today she accidentally snorted some milkshake out of her nose when Izuku made her laugh, that memory kept replaying in my mind since I saw it. Seeing her laugh and cry about it at the same time made me feel the emotions I didn't want to feel anymore.

Now I just wanted to get my mind off of it, even if I had to watch some TV for a while which I didn't even enjoy that much.

I channel surfed for a while, flipping through many channels, news was boring, cartoons were childish, soap opera was too dramatic, and a documentary was interesting for 5 minutes until I lost interest.

I did a full roundabout until I finally landed on the news channel, I was just about to switch to the next channel but something caught my attention.

"student attending U.A high was caught in a tragedy early this evening. "

"What the..."

"Today at 8:00 am, tragedy struck at the city's local train station. A young student, whose name has been disclosed, was caught on a train with two men who attempted to sexually assault the young student. In an attempt of self-defence, their quirk slipped which resulted in a devastating explosion, gravely injuring the two men who have now been taken into extreme medical recovery. Both conditions remain unstable, as for the student, they have been taken to get treated for their injuries. Back to you Linda. "

" A student? That kind of... Kind of sounds like..."

"No. I'm just being paranoid, she's fine!"

I reached for my phone intending to call her in mind. "No. What am I doing? I don't want anything to do with her. She's fine and I don't care."

My heart hammered with dread, the bad feeling arising more with each second to the point where I shivered, my arm hairs raised with prickles on my skin as I did.

God dammit, stop. She's fine.

I sighed. My mind felt so exhausted, mostly from constantly worrying and thinking about her stupid face.

Go for a jog. That'll clear your mind. Just go jog.

She's fine.

(Y/N)'s perspective

It took exactly three hours and fifty-seven minutes for the police to finish interrogating me. Every passing second in that room was excruciating, and having to talk about the entire incident in great detail without having to process it at all was traumatic. But what choice do the police have? What choice did I have? Finally, after all that time they left me to heal.

I stayed in the bed, my mind felt disconnected from reality, as if someone was going to pop around the corner and say it was a big prank or I would wake up from just another horrible nightmare, but of course, with every passing minute, it seemed like these expectations where just pathetic excuses for me not to face my fears. After everything that transacted, the hardest thing to do was think about it. Because everything in that train ride traumatised me.

Heels clicked swiftly down the hall and my mother sheepishly peered into my room, as soon as she saw me she immediately burst in and embraced me.

"M-mom?..." I didn't expect my voice to be so hoarse and raspy, but at the same time, I wasn't surprised.

"(Y/N)! Oh my God!" She hugged me desperately. Multiple sobs erupted as she did. She brushed my hair, held my face, and kissed my forehead.

But I just stayed there. I felt... numb.

I couldn't feel anything, and as much as I wanted to hug her back and enjoy her motherly comfort, I just couldn't. I couldn't feel anything.

"My baby, my baby girl I thought I lost you... I thought... I just couldn't..."

I forced my arm and wrapped it around her back, "I'm okay."

She sobbed harder for a second, but pulled away swiftly, wiping her red eyes and nose profusely.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I need to be strong for you. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you..."

"I'm okay mom."

Lies.

"How are you? Are you okay? Can I get you anything?"

"Could you go ask my doctor if I could have more morphine? It's starting to hurt again."

She whimpered, "of course baby. Just wait right here"

"I don't plan on leaving," you forced a joke. It felt fake.

Soon your mother left and you turned to your side, ignoring the pain in your broken ribs. You let your mind wonder

The memories of feelings felt distant. The excitement and hunger when your mom took you to the rare occasion of your favourite restaurant, laughing with your friends at lunch, the feeling of finally belonging with your friends, family and classmates, the fluttering in your stomach when Bakugo stood close enough for you to smell his cologne. It all seemed like those emotions, desires and feelings withered away before you as a dying rose in winter. They all felt dead. And what was left in the broken shell of your heart was the memories of today and the nothingness in existence. And that is all you could feel.

Everything...

Everything just felt numb

You didn't want to go back, you just wanted to stay in bed and simply rot away. You didn't know if people knew it was you, or not. You didn't care.

All you did at that moment was forget your existence, and sleep.