Nights of December

Chapter 13

"It is and I loved it"

I smiled. I don't want him to be guilty. Well, yes I said I'm mad at him because I'm confused with him, I can't understand him anymore, it's like he's just playing with me. But when he kissed me, I felt more hopeful for the two of us. Mas binigyan ko pa ng meaning ang lahat. Mas kumapit pa ako sa katotohanang maaayos pa namin ang lahat, maibabalik pa namin yung "kami".

"a-about sa France" he changed the topic, his voice trembled.

"hm" I murmured

"tutuloy ba tayo?" He asked me, alam kong ayaw niyang bumalik sa France. Alam kong ayaw niya nang balikan yung lugar kung saan kami nasira, pero pwede pa namang buoin uli e.

"h-h'wag nalang" naghihinayang kong tugon. Gustohin ko mang bumalik don pero wala akong magagawa kung ayaw niya. Oo, siguro masaya niyang tinanggap yung request ko pero alam kong mas sasaya siya kung mag s-stay kami dito.

"are you sure" he whispered as he stared at the floor

"yeah" I said softly

"b-baka napipil-" I cut him. I touched his face and rubbed it gently to calm him down.

"shh" I kissed him on the forehead. Doing that made me feel more at ease.

"love.." he said, his forehead furrowed "stop doing this to me" I was shocked by what I heard. Did I do something wrong. I was nervous after hearing that, maybe he didn’t want it anymore. Maybe he doesn't want to pretend anymore. We don't have a signed contract so he can end whatever we have, ... and that's our fake relationship.

"w-what did I do?" my voice trembled. There is fear in my eyes that tells how nervous I am.

"I-" I was about to speak but he suddenly spoke.

"you always make me fall in love"

I took a deep breath. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"w-what are you saying" I faked a laugh, trying to hide how happy I was.

"f-forget that" tumayo na siya kaya napatayo din ako. That voice sounded like a lie. I will never forget that,... that you love me.

"let's go for a date" masayang pag aaya ko sa kanya. he stares at me with confused eyes and furrowed forehead.

"but.." I touched his lips with my index finger, to make him quiet. I know what he will say, "but I should be the one to ask that". Why?, because I am a woman?. I can ask him that whenever I want.

"o-okay" he slowly removed my finger from his lips, he looked innocent. The trembling voice made me smile actually. Kitang kita ko ang kaba sa mukha niya, akala niya siguro may gagawin ako.

"take off your clothes" he was about to turn around but when he heard that he looked back at me. His lips parted in astonishment.

"w-what?" his eyes widened

"take off your clothes" malinaw na ulit ko sa kanya "and change it" I laughed a little "go to your room" dagdag ko pa.

Nang marinig niya iyon ay lumabas siya. Nakayuko siyang naglakad palabas ng kwarto ko. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sayang nararamdaman ko. Ito ang unang beses na nagtanong ako sa lalaki na makipag date sa akin. Ganito pala yung pakiramdam, hindi ko alam kung excited ba ako, kinakabahan o nahihiya pero isang bagay lang ang alam ko at malinaw na malinaw sa puso't isip ko — and that is I LOVE HIM.

Nagpalit na ako ng damit at nag ayos na rin ako ng buhok. Suot ko ang dilaw na damit na niregalo niya sa akin nung birthday ko. Yellow fitted dress, coz yellow is my favorite. Pagkatapos magbihis ay nag lumabas na ako ng kwarto.