Inside ICT

19. heartfelt

I was nervous as I knocked his door. He looked briefly into my eyes and looked away as he opened the door. He let the door open and walked away indicating for me to get in.

'Mahi bhai, I-'

'Will you have apple, baccha?' he asked cutting me mid way.

He might be still angry with me for interrupting me but he called me baccha, so how can he be angry with me?

'No bhai thanks.'

'Why will you eat something healthy like this. If Ro asks you to accompany him to eat Vada pav you'll happily go.' he was acting as if nothing has happened at the table.

'Bhai I'm sorry.' I apologized.

'For not eating the apple?'

'For what I said at the table.'

He let out a sigh and said 'Come sit here.' offering to sit next to him on the couch.

'I really should have not said that. I was talking about the film and gone with the flow.' I couldn't dare to look in his eyes.

'You did no wrong baccha. It's alright.' he said in his usual calm tone.

'Are you not angry with me?' I asked.

'What did you even do to make me angry? It felt suffocating for a while but it's only because of the shock and also no one has ever talked about it expect when the movie was made.  But it doesn't hurt me anymore.' he stated.

'Don't you love her anymore?' I don't know why did I even ask that.

'We got separated even before I could love her. She was like my best friend. The only regret I had was avoiding her so that she might lose feelings for me in our last days. But I should have sticked to it. I felt maybe I should give it a chance and asked her to buy me a watch for Valentine's day. If I didn't ask her to do that, she wouldn't have gone out that day. And if she wouldn't have gone, she'll be-' he was clearly choked up and couldn't continue.

'Bhai it has nothing to do with you. It's destiny and it's ought to happen that way no matter what.' I tried consoling him. 

'But when Sakshi entered my life, I began viewing life with a new perspective. You know something about love? No matter how much you'll run away from it, it will find you and make you fall into it. I tried so hard to not fall for her, but how can I not fall for someone who's so perfect?'

'You know what my father's philosophy is? Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.'

'I agree with him completely. I never thought I'll be able to move on from her death. Guilt, regret, pain, sorrow, attachment have started eating me from inside. My heart would ache as if it was being pierced with thousand knifes at once, but how could I let that effect me? How could I let myself feel all those and depress myself? I have a country to play for. And that's when sakshi came into my life. Neither of us knew how or when it happened but she healed me completely.'

'You are so lucky to find her. You really are bhai.'

'I know. I don't know what would I be doing, had she not entered my life.'

'I never thought you'd have a story like this too.'

'What do you mean? Am I not a human being?'

'No nothing like that. You look to be completely sorted, calm unlike the others here. But your story, I mean your dealing with love is same like their's.' I said.

'That's what love does to us all. Love heals. We are all the same krithi. We all need love. Upto a certain age it's from our parents and siblings. Then friends enter our life and then we find our soulmate and then, though we'll make even more relations in life, the constant person would be our partner.'