All Over You

Right Where He Wants Me

The sun peeps through the blinds and I roll over, groaning at the feel of a man's skin that isn't Liam. Louis lays beside me in bed with an arm draped over my waist, his hair is sticking up wildly. I shove him more aggressively than intended but I am already regretting last night's decision. The sex was average and I was sober with work the following morning. When did life become so monotonous? I miss the joy and thrill of sleeping with strangers that I had as a teenager. My mind becomes more tunnel vision to Liam every day and I somehow resent him for it. It's his fault that his smooth words charm me more than anything ever has. There's just something about him that I can't stay away from. It's ruining my life and sometimes I wish I had never met him so I could continue to be the most authentic unbothered version of myself. 

"You need to leave. I have work." I mumble, struggling to keep my eyes open.

He shudders and sits himself bolt upright in the bed.

"No second date?" he teases.

In broad daylight, he looks a lot less like Liam than I had fantasised. Liam again. I shake my head viciously.

"I'm not into that. Goodbye Louis." 

I can feel him staring at me for a few moments before he gathers his belongings and hurriedly heads out my front door. Maybe he hesitated because he thought I was joking, but truthfully my social tolerance for him has run out. I really hope Liam mentions it today, after all he did see us in the car park. I can just picture him asking whether he's my boyfriend and getting jealous over me. I would profess to him that I don't date and he'd realise I am exactly his type. Maybe then he'd chase me and everyone would be flabbergasted that the Liam Natward has flipped his ways 180 degrees. 

The following afternoon, once we have successfully come off air, we endure a whole production team meeting to discuss the launch of our new segment. The debut is only a few weeks away and the pressure is mounting. Lesley has agreed to direct and has begun running us through the logistics. Everyone has packed into a board room with their notepads and pens, but there isn't enough seats for everyone. Keira, Geoff and I have snagged a small table with three chairs, while others just hover about awkwardly, balancing their papers on their forearms and desperately trying to keep up with what Lesley's saying. Liam was fashionably late as usual, so I make a mental note of where he's standing. The meeting drones on and eventually my eyes dare to flicker over to the corner of the room which he resides in. 

Though the sight that greets me is far from desirable. His muscular hands are intertwined with another woman's and he is too fixated on her to even notice me. He gently brushes a lose strand of silky brown hair behind her ear and she nibbles her lip. I don't understand why, but the scene unfolding in front of me makes my stomach churn. Jealousy floods through my veins. I once again long for the life I had a few months ago, where Liam teasing another girl wouldn't even be a focal point. She's beautiful - of course. She has a thin fringe and round glasses which hang at the end of her button nose. I can't see the rest of her face as Liam keeps leaning into it, no doubt whispering dirty things. She keeps giggling silently to herself and I know the effect he must be having on her. I watch in horror as he leads her out of the room and she follows, hot on his heels.

I struggle to keep my jaw from falling on the floor. I know exactly where they're going and what activity they're going to engage in. My insides twist unnervingly, it feels as if my kidneys are intertwining themselves with my bowels and my heart has risen into my throat. The disappointment of Liam with another woman confirms the lingering knowledge that he was still up to his old tricks. There had been rumours he had calmed down slightly in the prior months but what I just witnessed was proving me wrong and it stings. 

I can't get the image of the pair out of my head. His fingers were interlaced with her silky hair. She had such a slender figure that I'm sure Liam would ravish. I chew on my lip in frustration as the image of his stubble brushing against her sensitive earlobes burns into my mind. I consider dying my hair brown and cutting a fringe before I realise how easily the green eyed monster had crept over me. I never used to act this depraved over a man. I've had boyfriends before, some for a long time, yet none of them have made me feel quite like Liam does. I've been betrayed before too, when I was much younger and much more naive. Even so, this encounter makes me want to rip my eyeballs out and squish them into the nearest wall fixture.