All Over You

Again

I strut up the stairs adjacent to Liam's office, wearing heels so high that usually only Keira can get away with. The sound of them reverberates throughout the hallway and my heart beats into my stomach. I'm wearing a tight skirt which clings to my waist and a grey bodysuit which shows off just enough cleavage if I bend over in a certain way. I bought the whole ensemble over the weekend and collated all of the items that Liam rated ten out of ten, creating an outfit that should blow him away. There's a buzz to this feeling that I've never found before in my life. For the first time, I feel sexy. Sexy enough for Liam. It's daring, but I hardly feel self conscious anymore. 

I stride up to his office as if the hallway was a catwalk, but find all the wind knocked out of me when the door is firmly shut and the lights are off. I stare for a moment, the reflection staring back at me in disbelief. Though the girl that greets me is half of the woman I dreamed of being. Her eyes are swollen and dark, her hair not as neatly straightened as she'd thought. I scowl at the door for a few seconds, allowing the deflation to seep into my skin. This wasn't part of the plan at all. The confidence I built up washes away with each second and I know I need to move now. If anyone catches me staring into Liam's empty office like this it would for sure raise a few questions. The time ticks by and I have to stomp off to my own office. Still, I try my best to shake off the disappointment as I swing open my office door. 

Geoff's eyes light up when he sees me. He's hunched over his desk and squinting at something on his screen. I can barely make it out but it seems to be an array of nonsensical letters and numbers. I can tell it isn't work related. His glasses are pushed far up the bridge of his nose, but when he sees me he gently removes them and places them on his desk. I try not to giggle at how small his eyes appear without them.

"Good morning! You look refreshed!" He chimes. 

I thank him for the extra vote of confidence, sitting at my computer and deliberating on the world of good which a weekend of retail therapy can do you. Under my desk, I subtly kick my heels off and wriggle my feet into the harsh feeling carpet. Much better. I settle into my seat and throw myself into work with Keira's absence. She has a string of meetings and I assume she won't be around until transmission. Though without her conversation, my mind drifts. I make small talk with Geoff and he explains to me his coding on the screen. I spin my seat around to face him and try desperately to stop my eyes glazing over, but they do regardless. Geoff is one of the most wholesome people I've ever met but he has a lot of interests that aren't my forte. It's such a challenge to keep my mind from wandering when he babbles on about things I can barely even comprehend. I find myself drifting in and out of consciousness. Without Liam I just feel exhausted and somehow empty. I'm so used to him bookending my day that when he isn't here I feel like everything's been knocked off keel.

I can only think of him. How hot and wet his lips felt as he trailed them down my neck. The way his fingers worked inside of me. Us rocking back and forth in complete and utter pleasure. I have to catch my breath a few times, paranoid Geoff can hear me panting and figure out exactly what I'm daydreaming about because I'm definitely not listening to his coding talk. My stomach tenses in a way I have to bite my lip to hide. Eventually, I excuse myself to my own computer screen and sit with my back to Geoff. Staring at the wall and having the most intense flashbacks of Liam and I is a much better morning plan. If I can't stop thinking about Liam then I may as well embrace it. 

After losing track of time, the door bangs open and Keira storms in, slamming a pile of paperwork down on her desk dramatically. 

"I need a coffee!"

My daydreams fade away and I sigh in defeat. 

"Me too." 

She makes towards the door but I scramble out of my seat to hurriedly squeeze my feet into the heels and follow her out the room. Just in case we bump into Liam. He's somehow made me so self conscious and I don't know how. I used to come to work in jeans with no makeup on. Something about Liam just makes me want to be better. Our footsteps echo in unison. I am beginning to delight in the superiority complex that comes with wearing heels at work. I completely understand why Keira does it. I might have to join her more often, it's almost worth the intense foot pain you get the next day. I'm sure that tomorrow every step I take will be a horrific reminder of my choices. I don't know how Keira bears it. Maybe she does it so much that her feet have lost feeling nowadays. She is much smaller than me without them, though. I glance across at her as we walk and her eyes are firmly fixated on me.