All Over You

Suffocating Me

I end up waking up way before my alarm, the previous night weighing over me like dark clouds that refuse to budge or let any light in. I can't keep blaming Liam's high sex drive for his issues when he consciously choses to back me into a corner like that. Part of me knows that walking away yesterday was the beginning of me standing up for myself. Liam will learn to live with it if he truly wants to be with me the way he says he does. I needed to have more trust in him and this was the first step.

Instead of fretting in bed, I get up much earlier and spend time curling my hair and applying makeup. I rewear the red dress I wore the first time Liam and I broke the boundary of friends in that cramped office which soon became our safe haven. Sometimes I long to go back to those days where everything was so exhilarating. When I only knew Liam's playful and charismatic sides. Back then, he didn't seem like the type of man who'd give me a sex ultimatum like he did the night prior. I turn on my phone when done, expecting to have at least three missed calls from Liam. My heart sinks when all I have is a missed call from Keira. I decide to call back in the car. I would hate to be late. 

Though on my journey I get too caught up in feeling nauseous with all the thoughts in my head and totally forget about the call. There was no way Liam was treating me right yesterday, that was clear. Yet, the thought of all the laughs we'd shared seemed to overshadow recent events that I was plain stupid for overlooking. I make an action plan and decide to fight for this relationship. I will speak to Liam today to explain how used it makes me feel when he forces sex on me and how we should create a healthier way of being intimate. This can all be saved with proper communication and conversation, something I'm sure Liam lacked in his childhood. He almost needs to be taught how to be in an adult relationship.

I pull up and check the time on my phone, thankfully it tells me I'm twenty minutes early. I have another string of missed calls from Keira which make me worry, she never calls me this much and I wonder if something has happened. She always gets into work a half hour earlier than me as head of department and I know she'll be in the office if she doesn't have meetings. Due to the missed calls and impending grievous conversation with Liam, I skip his office and head straight to mine instead. Maybe my unusual absence will give him time to recognise how wrong his behaviour is, then maybe he'll be the one blowing up my phone in the ways I assumed he already would have. I do wish he'd just realise what he did wrong and fix it without me having to spell it out to him. It becomes exhausting after a while.

I swing open the door to my office and smile as Keira jumps out of her seat ands runs up to me. She is wearing a pair of black dress trousers so loose that they flow in the wind of her brisk movement. My smile is only momentary as her face is drained of all colour and her eyes are full of concern. The way she looks at me makes my heart skip a beat and my knuckles grip my handbag a lot more firmly. 

I get a feeling that I haven't had in so long. The feeling you get when you miss a step on the stairs and your stomach flips. That feeling when you've woken up from a night of heavy drinking and get plagued with memories from your drunken antics. That gut feeling that warns you something is about to flip your world upside down. 

"What's happened?" I ask, my throat tightening.

"Why haven't you answered your phone!" She snaps.

Never having seen her in such a frantic state before, I jump back. I want to be wounded by her tone, but part of me knows that she would never speak to me this way without reason. I lose the power of speech and stare at her, open mouthed. Her honey blonde hair bounces on her shoulders as she speaks with such force and her fringe is pinned up the way she does when she's stressed. She usually sweats a little from her forehead and doesn't want her hair to get greasy, so tucks it away when she means business. Alarm bells ring in my mind.