All Over You

Circumstances

Friday finally arrives and I roll over on the sofa, feeling nothing but drained. I mentally resent my decision to allow Keira to drag me to this stupid party. I usually love Bramble Studios' wrap parties, but this one is far from normal. it has come at the worst time. It has officially been two weeks since I last saw Liam, when I was at my peak of confusion regarding where we stood with each other. Nothing is ever simple. I wonder how different the circumstances would've been if Liam was still here. Maybe we would've gotten ready together, horsing around and throwing things at each other as we put on daft costumes. Instead, I'm waiting on Keira to dress me up like one of her barbies from when she was little. It's so unfair and part of me feels as if I've been robbed of a core experience. 

I nibble a hangnail anxiously, checking my phone for that feels like the thousandth time today. Still nothing from Liam, I've sent him numerous messages and still not a single one has gotten through. It's the not knowing that upsets me most. It allows so many possibilities to run through my head. I feel sick to the core of my stomach. Regardless of what he did, he is the man I love and if anything had happened to him, I'd still be devastated. I know everyone would tell me I am just being delusional and everyone has a sick day here and there. This is different and I know it. You can tell when someone you love with is hurt. 

I consider the idea that he has blocked my number and run away with someone prettier than me. He could be dead for all I know. No one seems to know what happened to him, but it has been way too long for it to be normal. Rumours have begun speculating and Liam's disappearance has become a hot topic - just like I expected. There are several versions of the story, ranging from him quitting and moving abroad to him being fired for his poor behaviour. I just wish for someone with actual answers to inform me what I have been so left out of the loop with, as none of the dots are seeming to connect. Maybe he has blocked my number and left Bramble Studios for good, but the idea hurts too much to even ponder. It has been so long now that I do begin to wonder if I'll ever see him again. I curse myself for ever wishing to have never set eyes on him. 

The doorbell rings and I sit up, shaking my head to get the Image of Liam laying dead at the side of the road out of my mind. It has been a shorter day at the studio's as we finished transmission and were granted early leave to get ready. Keira dropped her car off before heading over to mine and play dress up but I just sat gaunt on the sofa while waiting. I put the whole dilemma to the back of my mind and plaster a smile on my face. The worry sinks deep to the pit of my stomach but I refuse to let it consume me. I promised Keira a good night. That's why, for the next few hours, we will throwback to our younger days and plaster on makeup while blasting tunes. Although somewhat childish, I find myself enjoying it and actually forgetting Liam for once.

I watch Keira shimmy into the tightest, shortest black dress I've ever seen. She claimed that Alex had picked it for her, and I can see why. Keira is usually so conservative with her body, and I'm so glad that he has bought her out of her shell. Two years ago, she never even would've considered something so tight. She has an amazing figure and I have always envied it. Alex is so wonderful for her, anyone could tell. They compliment each other in the best way and he is evidently head over heels for her. Their equilibrium as a couple is also something I envy. She glows when she's around him.

She giggles hysterically as she draws cat whiskers on her face in thick black eyeliner. She is laughing so hard that her lines come out shaky and she has to redo it several times. Next, she rummages through my wardrobe and scrutinises the lack of glitter I have. She eventually settles on a white iridescent dress with several large sequins hanging off the front. It sparkles in the dimly lit room so she nods, satisfied. We end up engaging in a long conversation over whether unicorns have tails, but I nip that in the bud by telling her I refuse to let her put a tail on me in fears of looking crazy.