All Over You

Learn To Communicate

I hop onto the first bus that comes along and nibble a hangnail all the way to town, my stomach unsettled from all the conflict. Keira calls me and I briefly tell her that I have some things to sort out, avoiding the reality due to the guilt building up inside me. I decide to explain it all to her later, apologising for cancelling our lunch and promising to make it up to her another day. I rush off the bus and into the nearest shopping centre to purchase a second hand iPhone. I don't have all the money in the world for a brand new model, but hope this will be a token of appreciation for Liam. I am learning that he only hits out when he is hurt. Plus, the thought of him wanting to kill himself sends unbearable chills along my skin. I have to learn to deal with him better. He's living with me after all.

The entire journey home, I fantasise about how the rest of Liam and I's life will go together. He will get through the toughest moments of his life with me by his side, doing everything I possibly can to help him. He will win his job back and slowly build up that flirty persona once more. He will be the person I fell in love with again, it takes time to recover. Except it will be different now we have created this incredible connection. Since he has started to let me in more, I know the real him. I will be the only one he doesn't have to pretend around. I wish to never be parted from him. Especially not now he needs me. We seem to be like magnets. No matter how bad it gets, we always seem to rebound back to each other. Inseparable till the end. 

By the time I walk down my road, I almost have a skip in my step with optimism. We will sort it out. We always do. I unlock the door, holding my breath slightly at the sight I will see. Maybe Liam has gone drinking. The brief thought of him leaving me for good after this morning's conflict enters my mind... I'd hate to push him too far when I was only trying to establish some boundaries.

Thankfully, all my worries are settled as a sheepish looking Liam pops into the hallway, scratching the back of his neck.

"You were quick." He mumbles.

I stifle a giggle as I walk past him, kicking my shoes off at the door and heading into the living room. I motion for him to follow and he obediently plonks himself down on the sofa in front of me.

"I didn't go. Liam I do care about you. So much. I wish you would see that all I am ever trying to do is look out for you."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude I am just struggling to-"

"Liam, I understand you." I interrupt, "I got you a phone today. Use it to call your friends and let them know you're okay as they're probably really worried. You haven't attempted to contact anyone in a while."

His eyes light up for the first time since he's been here as I throw the little plastic box at him. He grabs it with both hands and grins up at me like a kid at Christmas. My heart melts a little at the thought that this is finally working. My plan of action to get us both back on track is taking form right in front of me. Once Liam is better, he can open his heart for me again.

"Thank you." He whispers, "I'll pay you back the second I get back to work."

I am soothed by his positivity in regards to the trial. It is almost a weight lifted off my shoulders and I feel the muscles in my lower back start to ease. The air is clearing and the haze is lifting. 

"I also have a number of a local doctor I want you to see. they might be able to prescribe you some medicine to help you with your struggles, or someone professional to talk to."

"I don't need a therapist." He stiffens a little and I worry I may be going too far here. 

"No, but when you're telling me you're suicidal I have to offer you help." 

"I wish I could do something to say thank you." He murmurs, his eyes rounded and soft once again. Seeing him so relaxed and grateful for the first time in weeks is so refreshing. It releases all the tension inside me from the stress of his upset. Being able to help him soothes me in so many ways.