All Over You

Deceiving Reputation

The day of the tennis competition rolls around and I spend the better part of the morning staring at myself in the mirror. I remember Liam's comment about women in tennis skirts and cringe. He will be disappointed when he beholds his beautiful eyes on me. I stand in full white as if I am heading to Wimbledon, the pleated skort hanging off my hips and barely covering my bum. I've tucked my Nike shirt in but know it wont stay that neat for long. My hair is chucked into a messy high ponytail which took me way longer than it looks. I tell myself I only care because of the audience in the arena, but a small niggling part of my brain reminds me that only one member of the crowd will have my attention. 

I Jump into the car and the nerves begin to settle in. I have been so caught up in Liam and work and planning and transmissions that I almost forgot I'm here to actually play tennis, all for a cause dearly close to Keira's heart. Funnily enough, tennis is one of the fewer sports I wasn't  atrocious at during my time at school. I have vague memories of my father teaching me to play in the back garden before he got too busy with work and decided to withdraw from me emotionally. One of my teachers asked me to join a tennis after school club once, but by then my father had begun to hit me, so I meekly declined. 

I meet Keira in the parking lot as my heart pounds into my chest. She looks amazing, wearing professional white gear to match me, with tennis rackets slung over her shoulder. Her hair is in a high ponytail and I rarely see her like this, with her hair bounding as she walks. She looks much younger and I begin to wish I knew her as a teenager so she could've taken me under her wing sooner. Maybe then I wouldn't have spent so much wasted time on people like Hayley. She grabs my shaky hand and we head towards the venue. It's much more vast than I had initially imagined. 

I take a deep breath as we walk into the arena and muffled applause of friends and family meets us. I feel Keira squeeze my hand out of excitement, and I squeeze hers back with borderline hysteria. Even so, the sound of applause does settle my stomach slightly and bring a smile to my face. This is for charity, I've already raised money, now I can relax and have fun doing it. There's not many people here and they certainly wont laugh at us when we make mistakes. It's not a professional tournament. That allows some sense of composure to wash over me. We stroll towards the courts to line up with the other couples. More follow us and walk in, getting the same amount of applause as we did. Each pair has been assigned a different colour, and I wonder why we were shunted with white when everyone else looks so professional in the vast array of blues, pinks and oranges. 

My eyes begin to wander as I gain confidence to look up from the floor and take in my surroundings. The rising sun glares through the high windows, adding an ethereal feel to the whole scene. Rows of nets and rackets are lined up down the middle of the room while a whiteboard in the distance depicts the order of play. My eyes scan the crowd. It is almost empty, the only people here are who I assume to be friends and family of those playing today. For a moment, my heart swells at my own parents not caring enough to be here. I imagine a different universe, one where my dad would show up with tears in his eyes and clap for me, proudly telling strangers that he taught me to play. Shivers run down my spine when I realise he never had proud, tearful eyes. They went completely blank and darkened when he used to hurt me. 

The brief pain is dissolved when a waving man catches my eyes. All the breath in my body feels like it's been involuntarily withdrawn as I notice Liam's sparkling eyes glinting from a mile away. He flashes a flawless white smile at me, so I return the gesture. I pretend to be unaffected by his presence, but I have to take my hand out of Keira's to hide the fact that I'm suddenly so sweaty and weak at the knees. I watch as the silicone bands on his wrist bounce when he waves, and the way the hoodie he's wearing fits him so perfectly as if it was made just for him. He looks so much more casual than he does in the studios with shirts and chinos. It is a breath of fresh air. Once again, he looks nothing like his reputation.