All Over You

Feeling Isn't Always Pleasant

It's cliche, but I gently pinch the skin on my arm between my fingers to make sure I am not hallucinating. I blink so hard that I almost expect him to be gone when my eyes dare to flutter open again. Sure enough, still sitting on my doorstep in the darkness of the early morning is Liam. Even under the dim lighting of the street lamps, he looks absolutely breathtaking in some loose jeans and a jacket. I recognise the jacket from the time we went to France and he gave it to me to prevent me from being cold. Facially, his stubble has grown and he looks desperately unkept. I also notice some light bruising around one of his eyes and a sharp cut across his left cheek.

My heart aches for him, but I feel barely able to hold myself up from the amount of emotions that overwhelm me. I have never felt so many things at once. I feel so much compassion and adoration towards him for coming to me. I also feel resentment, leaving me in the lurch for a fortnight was cruel. Then comes relief. This is the most prominent of all the emotions. He's okay! Seemingly hurt and drunk, but nothing near as bad as my mounting fears. He even has one of his signature grins painting his face, relieving all my fears of him turning aggressive due to the alcohol. I realise I have been standing in the darkness, gawping at him wordlessly for a few moments, so I shake my head and find the courage to speak.

"What are you doing here?" I barely stammer.

"I needed you." He responds, offering me a sloppy grin once more. The way he looks up into my eyes makes me feel a certain way that I can barely decipher.

"Let's get you inside."

He stands as I walk up to the doorstep and begin unlocking the door. His grubby hands wrap around my waist and he breathes down the back of my neck. I have missed this, but I am so conflicted. I gently shake him off as I step inside and grab him a glass of water.

"How long have you been sitting on my doorstep?" I ask as he follows me into the kitchen.

"I forgot it was the halloween party today." He stumbles about the place, swaying heavily.

I nibble my lip and ignore the fact that he dodged my question. Instead, I lead him into the living room and sit him on the sofa. When he drinks, Liam can either be so cheeky and charismatic or he can be so nasty. When drunk and upset, his emotions can change in the blink of an eye. I want to talk and need answers, but am too afraid to push in fear that he will snap. I have to sober him up first. This whole thing feels surreal. 

"Have you eaten today?" I ask.

He shakes his head, chugging the water and smirking at me as if none of this is a big deal. I instruct him to stay on the sofa while I make him a sandwich. My fingers shake as I place the bread onto a plate. I rush making it in order to get back with him as soon as I can. Regardless of the situation, I always want to be close to him. Still, I couldn't see my night ending like this when I was getting Keira to paint my face a few hours prior. 

He eats the sandwich in silence and minutes pass without a word spoken. The whole thing is bewildering to me. I am sitting on the edge of my sofa dressed like a unicorn at one in the morning, while my cheating ex who disappeared sits opposite me. I wring my hands together in between my tense legs. At least he is okay. Deep down, I fight down the urge to be thrilled that he came back to me. Jenifer seemingly had no luck. 

"Liam we need to talk." I probe, hoping he has sobered up slightly. I know the events of the night definitely have sobered me up.

"Did you hear?" He asks, his eyes huge and round from sadness.

"I heard about the fight and you getting fired."

"I'm not technically fired yet, I have my tribunal meeting next week."