Life is beautiful (A muslim story )

Chapter-31-Her little angel.

I swear love can heal - Yasmin Mogahed.

SANAM'S POV

Monsoon drew to an end, the rains were scanty this year.It was a fresh winter afternoon, when the turfs and the paths were rustling with moist, withered leaves, and the cold,blue sky was half hidden by clouds.I donned my abaya and took my umbrella for I was certain of showers.The chill wind tempted me for a walk but I was getting late so I opted for my car.Watching the familiar landscape with an artist's interest, I reached hospital in half an hour.

I never thought I'd miss medical school so much.It all felt good in the beginning.Being addressed as a doctor by the hospital staff, helping the sick,becoming a senior to the other medicos.But it came with its own baggage.Heavy enough to bend me, emotionally and physically.It extracted pretty much of tears from my lacrimals and gifted me huge dark circles around my eyes.

I was tipped away by the gusts of life.It was mainly the day when one of my patient breathed his last in my own hands.The worthlessness fermented from me unable to do anything to save him.My thoughts continually reverted to that day, that melancholy scene so instantly usurped its place.Talking about death is so easy but witnessing it is awful beyond words.

Each time I saw a dying person, I would think of my death.It could be anytime,we never have knowledge of the hour.But the question which kept bugging me was- Am I prepared?

Though I had tried hard to become a good Muslim,I feel there's still some backlog.There is so much fitnah around us that holding on to the straight path has never been so difficult.I was conversant with no bad deeds except slight acts arising out of hot temper and thoughtlessness.I usually repent on the day they are committed and cry at my follies.And mom says as long as we repent sincerely, Allah keeps forgiving for He is the most merciful.

" Good morning doctor!" Greeted the nurse in the elevator.

Though I was getting along with the new people I was missing my best friend badly.I missed her silly talks and her wierd ways to make me smile.Her husband had been with her through the exams and she flew off on the last day.After spending half a year with her hubby,she came back from New Zealand a week ago with a huge baby bump.Naila was expecting her twins in the next three months.She was presumably going to join her internship after the delivery of her twins.Haadi wanted her to rest and be careful for she had issues during her second trimester.

Being surrounded by new people,new challenges everyday was never encouraging.At the end of the day, I was sapped of energy.My only support has been my prayers.I was praying all the time, every moment I cried for His succor.Even the Qur'an says it is us who are in need of His help.

Surah Fatir, Verse 15:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ أَنتُمُ الْفُقَرَاءُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ هُوَ الْغَنِيُّ الْحَمِيدُ

O men! you are they who stand in need of Allah, and Allah is He Who is the Self-sufficient, the Praised One.

This experience has taught me that there's a reason behind our hardships.If we were always happy, we would have forgotten the purpose of this life.We would have forgotten our creator, the Lord who has bestowed us with immense wealth and health.The Almighty Allah, who loves even those who doesn't love him back.He gives His sustenance to even the person who doesn't give Him anything in return.We should be thankful for the enumerable blessings instead of coveting more.

Ere six months,I thought life would be a cake walk.Having studied more than a dozen books, I was imagining internship to be easy.Truth be told - internship sucks, bad time! And I had my marriage date approaching next week to add to the pressure.