Chuuya: *breaks into the agency's headquarters with the intention of fighting Dazai, for Dazai has committed a federal offense* OSAMU SCOTT ANNOYING MYSTERIOUS SHAMELESS WASTE OF BANDAGES SUICIDAL MANIAC FRIEND STEALER I-TEASE-CHUUYA-ABOUT-HIS-HEIGHT-EVEN-THOUGH-HE-HAS-NO-CONTROL-OVER-IT-AND-BE-MEAN-TO-AKUTAGAWA-FOR-NO-REASON-AND-MAKE-KUNIKIDA-WASTE-PAGES-IN-HIS-PRECIOUS-NOTEBOOK-ON-FAKE-NEWS-I-TELL-HIM-AND-CAN'T-FIND-A-GIRL-TO-DIE-WITH-AND-ALSO-I-HAVE-NO-SUCH-TASTES-IN-MEN-AND-VERY-OBVIOUSLY-FAVOR-THE-WERETIGER-OVER-THE-SILENT-MAD-DOG-AND-I-CAUSE-TROUBLE-EVERYWHERE-I-GO-AND-ANNOY-EVRRYONE-AND-I'M-A-TRAITOR-TO-THE-MAFIA-AND-I-NEVER-GET-TIRED-OF-HEARING-KUNIKIDA'S-LOVELY-SCREAMING-DAZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dazai: Not you again...
Chuuya: Yes me again. What is the meaning of this note?!
Dazai: Kunikida! Your friend's here, can you stop him from fighting me? And what note? I don't know what you're talking about.
Kunikida: *enters the room* Dazai, what's this all about...oh hey, Chuuya.
Chuuya: Sup Kunikida.
Kunikida: What brings you here?
Chuuya: I've come to seek revenge on Dazai.
Kunikida: ...dare I ask what he did this time?
Chuuya: He wrote me a note that completely roasted my impeccable fashion taste!
Kunikida: *eyes widen* Did he now?
Chuuya: Yes.
Kunikida: *gives Dazai a scolding look*
Dazai: What?! I wasn't lying!
Kunikida: You always start stuff with Chuuya and then you wonder why he hates you.
Dazai: Kuuuunnnniiiiikkkkiiiiiiiiddaaaaaa...whose side are you on?
Kunikida: I'm not taking sides. I'm just saying that you guys quite literally fight all the time and I doubt I'm alone in finding it annoying.
Chuuya: It's the mackerel's fault.
Dazai: It's the shortie's fault.
Chuuya and Dazai: *death glare each other* WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
Kunikida: *sighs and drops his head into his hand*
Chuuya and Dazai: *start wrestling*
Kunikida: Guys?
Chuuya and Dazai: *keep fighting*
Kunikida: Guys.
Chuuya and Dazai: *continue to fight*
Kunikida: GUYS!
Chuuya and Dazai: *look up* Yes?
Kunikida: That'll do. Dazai, you need to stop insulting Chuuya. And Chuuya...do you really have to break into the building every time?
Dazai: Fine...I'll try...
Chuuya: Of course I do! It makes for an epic villain entrance.
Kunikida: Yeah, I guess that's pretty on-brand of you.
Chuuya: Indeed it is. And I apologize for breaking in again, but like I said, Dazai's done something absolutely horrible.
Dazai: Chuuya. I used to be a Mafia employee-your partner, no less-and committed countless crimes, and you're worried about some silly note?
Chuuya: IT'S NOT A SILLY NOTE! YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES!
Dazai: Yeah. That's why I did it. Duh.
Chuuya: *punches Dazai*
Dazai: Ouch.
Kunikida: *shakes his head in annoyance and thinks* These two, I swear...
Chuuya: Anyways, I should be going-
Dazai: About time.
Chuuya: *shoots a death glare at Dazai* But don't you dare think this is over, you mackerel, because it isn't! I will be back, and mark my words, you WILL regret this!
Dazai: Yeah yeah.
Chuuya: .........
Kunikida: Dazai, give it a rest.
Dazai: Fine...
Chuuya: *is too angry to say anything else so he just storms out of the building*
Dazai: Finally, he's gone.
Kunikida: He'll be back.
Dazai: Unfortunately.
(A/N: in case anyone's wondering, the note said: This is dedicated to the shortie. Your fashion taste sucks. It absolutely sucks. You're no fashionista, and you should really stop trying to convince yourself that you are. It's sad how deluded you are because you'll never learn how to actually have a good fashion sense. Signed, an actual fashion icon.)
YOU ARE READING
BSD Scenarios
FanfictionAs the title says, this is going to be a book of Bungou Stray Dogs scenarios and incorrect quotes Warning: this will get very random at times I'll update whenever I can STARTED: April 3, 2022
