BSD Scenarios

The Discussion About the Agency's Mom

Kunikida: *doing paperwork*

Dazai: *walks up to him* I've said this before, but Kunikida, you really are the agency's mom.

Kunikida: *doesn't look up* No, I'm not.

Dazai: But you are.

Kunikida: *looks at Dazai* How so?

Dazai: Well, let's see...

Atsushi: *walks in* That time you screamed that you weren't losing your cool over the Mafia. That sounded like something a mom would do.

Kunikida: Well it's true, I wasn't.

Atsushi: *thinks back to that time* Right...

Dazai: For the record, you totally were.

Kunikida: You weren't there, how do you know?

Dazai: Remember that one time we were talking about you back when you had amnesia? Atsushi brought it up then.

Kunikida: I see.

Dazai: Oh, I have an example! How about the way you always try to make sure we're all safe?

Kunikida: That's not just a mom thing.

Dazai: But in your case, it is.

Kunikida: I'm not the agency's mom.

Yosano: *enters next* Yes, you are.

Kunikida: Please don't tell me you're here to give me a checkup. 😰

Yosano: Nah, not yet. I just happened to hear your conversation and decided I'd chime in.

Kunikida: In other words, you're probably here to argue that I am the agency's mom.

Yosano: Exactly.

Kunikida: Well in that case, what might your argument be? I'm curious to hear it so I can deny it.

Yosano: *smirks* The first thing that comes to mind is how you never left Dazai's side after you found him trying to drown himself. Not to mention you were holding his hand the entire time.

Kunikida: Yeah I did, so what? 😒

Yosano: Such a mom.

Kunikida: No. That was more of a...how do I describe it? A scenario of someone who, admittedly, was in love despite all the denial but didn't know how to say it.

Dazai: Yeah doc, don't you recall that we're dating now?

Yosano: Yes, I'm aware. I was the one who kept insisting you guys liked each other. I still can't believe how oblivious you two were back then.

Dazai: Yeah, yeah.

Kunikida: It's not like we're the first people to ever be oblivious.

Yosano: Maybe, but no one's ever gonna forget how oblivious you two were.

Kunikida and Dazai: *look at each other like, "what have we done to deserve this endless teasing?"*

Ranpo: *walks in* Sup guys?

Atsushi: We're all giving examples of how Mr. Kunikida is the agency's mom.

Ranpo: Oh, cool.

Kunikida: Not you too, Ranpo.

Ranpo: Lucky for you, I don't currently have any examples I can think of.

Kunikida: You are my hero.

Dazai: *pretending to be jealous* So rude.

Kunikida: Don't worry, Dazai. I don't hate you for starting an untrue conversation.

Dazai: *grins* You could never hate me.