BSD Scenarios

Enter the Vacuum

(A/N: this was inspired by a comment on my latest oneshot by Goubilicious which then turned into a very interesting conversation. Enjoy this little bit of angsty crack that eventually turns into fluff)

Kunikida: *sadly sitting at his desk*

Dazai: *notices and starts to worry*

Kunikida: *trying and failing to work*

Dazai: *gets an idea and runs off*

Kunikida: *looks up for a minute to see if anyone's there, shrugs, and then goes back to work*

Dazai: *finds a vacuum and brings it to the room*

Kunikida: *trying to focus on his work but just feeling sadder*

Dazai: *plugs in the vacuum*

Kunikida: *notices and wonders if Dazai's going to vacuum the place*

Dazai: *rolls the vacuum over to Kunikida, turns it on, removes one of the attachments, and aims it at his face*

Kunikida: *pushes it away* DAZAI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Dazai: I was trying to help you feel better.

Kunikida: HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!

Dazai: I was gonna vacuum up your tears.

Kunikida: *raises eyebrows* I wasn't crying.

Dazai: You were probably going to. You looked pretty sad if you ask me.

Kunikida: One, I don't do that at work. Two, even if that was the case, it's besides the point.

Dazai: Don't you know that vacuuming tears up is a very effective way to help someone feel better?

Kunikida: Wait, really?

Dazai: Yep! Write it down.

Kunikida: *gets out his notebook and begins to write* Vacuuming...is...effective...

Dazai: *grins* I'm messing with you.

Kunikida: ........ *breaks his pen*

Dazai: *laughs*

Kunikida: YOU TRICKING ME FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME HELPS EVEN LESS THAN TRYING TO VACUUM ME!

Dazai: I'm sorry.

Kunikida: *calms down* ...It's fine.

Dazai: No, it's not. I noticed you were sad for whatever reason and I just made it worse.

Kunikida: It's nothing I haven't dealt with before.

Dazai: Yeah, but still...

Kunikida: *looks away*

Dazai: *feels worse*

Kunikida: *still avoiding Dazai's gaze*

Dazai: *moves closer to Kunikida and hugs him*

Kunikida: *hugs back*

Dazai: Are you ok?

Kunikida: I'm sure I will be soon. Don't worry about me.

Dazai: But you always worry about me. Shouldn't I return the favor every now and then?

Kunikida: I try not to cause you to worry.

Dazai: But I still do.

Kunikida: Right...

Dazai: *keeps hugging Kunikida* I hope you feel better soon.

Kunikida: *finally looks at Dazai* Thanks.

Dazai: *smiles* You're welcome.

Kunikida: *smiles back*

Dazai: ...Are ya suuuuurrreeeeeee ya don't need me to vacuum up your tears?

Kunikida: Which ones?

Dazai: Oh, nevermind. I guess I'll have to wait until some other time.

Kunikida: You're not going to vacuum my face.

Dazai: Yes, I am!

Kunikida: No.

Dazai: But it helps!

Kunikida: You already admitted that you were just messing with me.

Dazai: ...You're right. I guess I'll just have to find some other way.

Kunikida: You already have.

Dazai: Wait, really?

Kunikida: Yeah. You always make sure I'm ok and you're always there to listen if I need to talk about something.

Dazai: True.

Kunikida: So yeah, that helps a lot.

Dazai: I'm glad it does.

Kunikida: It really does. *kisses Dazai's forehead*

Dazai: *blushes* Kuuuunnnniiiiikkkkiiiiiiiiddaaaaaa...

Kunikida: Yes?

Dazai: You can't just go and do that...

Kunikida: You've done it to me plenty of times.

Dazai: But that's different.

Kunikida: No, it isn't.

Dazai: Ok fine... *still flustered*

Kunikida: *tries not to laugh*

Dazai: *notices* Kunikida! Don't laugh at me.

Kunikida: I'm not.

Dazai: You look like you're going to. *pouts*

Kunikida: *tries to keep a straight face* Sorry.

Dazai: It's fine.

Kunikida: *pats Dazai's head*

Dazai: *smiles*

Kunikida: *smiles back*

Dazai: *grins* Y'know, Kunikida-kun...if you ever end up needing me to vacuum up your tears, I'd be glad to do so.

Kunikida: *laughs* I think I'll be fine. Thanks, though.

Dazai: *keeps grinning* Well, alright then. I could always try it on someone else.

Kunikida: ...That's probably not a good idea.

Dazai: Sure it is.

Kunikida: *shakes head*

Dazai: *continues to lean on Kunikida and watch him work*

Kunikida: *smiles to himself and starts to feel a bit better*