BSD Scenarios

Ranpo vs Kenji (part 1)

Ranpo: *lounging at his desk* uuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhh I'm sooooooooooooooooo booooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeddddd...

Kenji: *just chilling*

Ranpo: *sees Kenji* ...Perfect. *walks over*

Kenji: Oh hey, Ranpo.

Ranpo: Hi. I have a question.

Kenji: I have an answer.

Ranpo: What's the best way to interrogate someone?

Kenji: Easy! It's to nicely ask them questions so they don't feel intimidated!

Ranpo: *jaw drops*

Kenji: What? It's true.

Ranpo: Hmm...no. It's not.

Kenji: What do you mean it's not?!

Ranpo: Listen, Kenji. We're the Armed Detective Agency. We don't "ask nicely".

Kenji: Maybe you don't, but I do.

Ranpo: And that's why I'm the better detective.

Kenji: *glares at Ranpo* You egomaniac.

Ranpo: *glares back* You child.

Kenji: Well if you don't agree with my methods, I'd like to hear yours.

Ranpo: With pleasure. You see, when interrogating, the goal isn't to be friendly with people. The goal is to get information, and that needs to be done by any means possible, which would sometimes include being super intimidating.

Kenji: Now that's just plain mean.

Ranpo: *shrugs* No one ever said detective work was nice all the time.

Kenji: But surely there are better ways!

Ranpo: Maybe, but not everyone operates that way.

Kenji: It's still the better way.

Ranpo: No, it's not!

Kenji: Yes, it is!

*The two of them then stare each other down*

Ranpo: Y'know what?! Let's test each other's theories and see who's better for real!

Kenji: I'm game! But how?

Ranpo: We could try interrogating the other members here using our respective methods.

Kenji: Works for me.

Ranpo: Though honestly, I don't see much of a point in competing. Everyone knows I'll be the successful one.

Kenji: Maybe.

Ranpo: Maybe?! You dare question my superior intellect?!

Kenji: Yeah.

Ranpo: WHY YOU-

*Atsushi walks in right at that moment*

Kenji and Ranpo: ATSUSHI, HELP!

Atsushi: *confused* Uh...what?

Ranpo: Kenji decided to question my superior intellect!

Kenji: Ranpo decided to brag!

Atsushi: Hold on...what's this really about?

Kenji: Ranpo's claiming that the best way to interrogate someone is to intimidate them.

Ranpo: And Kenji thinks that being friendly will solve everything.

Atsushi: ...And how exactly am I supposed to help?

Ranpo: Be our test subject.

Atsushi: 0_0