Chuuya: *breaks the door down and looks very mad*
Kunikida: *looks up from his paperwork* Oh hey, Chuuya. What brings you here?
Chuuya: Hey, Kunikida. A certain mackerel has greatly sinned and now he must pay.
Kunikida: ...What'd he do this time?
Chuuya: He sent me another note dissing my fashion taste and my wine is missing, so he was probably responsible for that, too.
Kunikida: Why am I not surprised?
Chuuya: Cause this is Dazai we're talking.
Kunikida: Fair point.
Chuuya: Wanna know the unfair slander I've received this time?
Kunikida: Sure, why not?
Chuuya: *starts reading the note* Not dear shortie, clearly you learned nothing from my last note. I guess I have no choice but to repeat myself. Listen up, and listen closely. You have no such tastes in fashion. And it's still just as sad as ever that you seem to think you do. You're just deluding yourself into a fantasy that will never become true. The sooner you realize that, the better. Signed, the number one fashion icon in the world.
Kunikida: I wonder what exactly Dazai has against your fashion taste.
Chuuya: Yeah, same here. Whatever it is though, it's annoying.
Kunikida: I'm sure it is.
Dazai: *appears out of nowhere*
Chuuya: *shoots a glare at Dazai and inhales sharply* ......OSAMU SCOTT ANNOYING MYSTERIOUS SHAMELESS WASTE OF BANDAGES SUICIDAL MANIAC FRIEND STEALER CLINGY KUNIKIDA-OBSESSED MACKEREL SUPREME KING OF THE JERKS I-TEASE-CHUUYA-OVER-HIS-HEIGHT-EVEN-THOUGH-HE-HAS-NO-CONTROL-OVER-IT-AND-BE-MEAN-TO-AKUTAGAWA-FOR-NO-REASON-AND-MAKE-KUNIKIDA-WASTE-PAGES-IN-HIS-PRECIOUS-NOTEBOOK-ON-FAKE-NEWS-I-TELL-HIM-AND-CAN'T-FIND-A-GIRL-TO-DIE-WITH-AND-ALSO-I-HAVE-NO-SUCH-TASTES-IN-MEN-AND-VERY-OBVUOUSLY-FAVOR-THE-WERETIGER-OVER-THE-SILENT-MAD-DOG-AND-I-CAUSE-TROUBLE-EVERYWHERE-I-GO-AND-ANNOY-EVERYONE-AND-I'M-A-TRAITOR-TO-THE-MAFIA-AND-I-NEVER-GET-TIRED-OF-HEARING-KUNIKIDA'S-LOVELY-SCREAMING DAZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dazai: Oh, you added more to that name. Great.
Chuuya: YOU DESERVED IT!
Dazai: Did I though?
Chuuya: Yes.
Dazai: I don't see how.
Chuuya: Of course you don't.
Dazai: Because I'm a perfect, flawless amazing being!
Chuuya: *scoffs* Yeah, you wish.
Dazai: *gasps in horror* Chuuya! That's so mean!
Chuuya: Again, you deserve it.
Kunikida: *sighs* This may not be shocking anymore, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating.
Dazai: Kuuuunnnniiiiikkkkiiiiiiiiddaaaaaa...don't be mad at meeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Kunikida: I didn't say I was.
Dazai: But you said this is frustrating.
Kunikida: It is.
Dazai: *makes a sad face*
Kunikida: I don't mean you are, but to be fair you do keep bothering Chuuya, which then leads to him breaking in and screaming at you.
Dazai: *pouts* I'm just trying to have some fun.
Kunikida: And is it fun when he screams at you?
Dazai: No...
Kunikida: There. So maybe you should stop antagonizing him.
YOU ARE READING
BSD Scenarios
FanficAs the title says, this is going to be a book of Bungou Stray Dogs scenarios and incorrect quotes Warning: this will get very random at times I'll update whenever I can STARTED: April 3, 2022
