Weirder Things (Male OC X Wendy Corduroy)

Soos and the Real Girl

Another day has come to an end for the Mystery Shack. Stan decided to let the staff of his tourist trap lose to their own devices early. Excited about her new freedom, Mabel started skipping merrily towards the door. "La, la, la, la, la!" She sang, before accidentally bumping into the screen door. She started screaming when her braces got caught in it. "Braces! Braces caught in the screen door!" She screamed, frantically trying to pry her braces from the screen. "Someone dictates my will, I'm giving it all to Waddles!"

Before Patrick could do something to help, Soos came over, holding a screwdriver. "Say 'ah,' girl-dude," he said.

"Aaaah." Mabel opened her mouth wide, allowing Soos to pry her braces off of the screen door. Soos placed her down as Patrick and Dipper walked up beside her. "Soos! You saved me!"

"Heh, heh! Just doing my job, hambone." Soos remarked warmly, smoothly tossing his screwdriver into the air, and it perfectly landed into his toolbelt. "I'll see you dudes tomorrow." Soos opened the door and walked out of the shop as the other bid him farewell.

"Bye, Soos!" The twins called out.

"Night, Soos," Patrick said, giving a two-finger salute.

"Night, Soos," Wendy said, playing with a Chinese finger trap.

"Night, Soos," said Stan, working on an attraction called "Thigh-Clops".

As Soos walked away from the shack, singing to himself about walking to his truck, Mabel asked the others with genuine curiosity, "You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?"

Patrick squinted his eyes. "Eh..."

"No."

"Not really."

"Not once ever."

---

As it turned out, Soos' time outside of work was spending time at home with his Abuelita. Sitting on the couch with her, Soos played the video game First Person Puncher and was currently punching leopards in the jungle. "Punch! Punch those leopards!" Soos cheered, before he heard the timer next to him go off. "Oh, highlights are done!" Pausing the game and setting down his controller, Soos turned to Abuelita, who had pieces of tin foil in her hair while reading mail. Leaning over to her, he began taking the tin foils out of his grandmother's hair. "You're gonna make all the other grandmas at the bingo hall so jealous!"

"Just a minute, m'ijo, look at this," Abuelita said with her usual calm smile. Handing a letter to Soos. "Your cousin Reggie is having an engagement party next month."

Soos looked at the invitation with a look of absolute bewilderment. "Wait, wait. Reggie is engaged!? But he's like the poor man's Soos."

"I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now... in a way," Abuelita began, somewhat awkwardly. "It's time for you to start meeting girls. I would like to see you settled before I ascend to heaven and leave with the angels to be with God and Jesus."

"And with grandpa!" Soos added innocently.

Abuelita became quiet for a moment. "No...he is not there." She said, looking down with a knowing smile. "Please find a girl to bring to Reggie's engagement, for Abuelita." She requested, placing a hand on her grandson's cheek. Abuelita then got up off the couch and walked away. Exiting the house to go to her bingo game.

Alone to mull over her request, Soos knew that he wasn't about to let her down. "Heh! No problem. I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games, having a sort of mustache. I could totally get a date in a week." The handyman smiled as he leaned back on the couch. He unpaused the game but didn't play the game. His head began to fill with worries and uncertainties. "Totally. Piece of cake."