ᴍᴇɴʜᴇʀᴀ // ᴍᴀᴛꜱᴜɴᴏ ᴄʜɪꜰᴜʏᴜ

ᴛᴇɴ

THEY ALL BLINKED, ONCE... twice, at your words. Should they be concerned? Should they say anything?

Chifuyu studied your face. He sat the closest to you, so he saw the tiny small formed on your face.

"...Don't say that with that look, [Last Name]-san." He muttered lowly. You gazed at him before turning to the waters. "...I can't. Sometimes dying is the only escape. I understood how my uncle felt now. I didn't even know I felt this way until I found out that Uncle died due to fear."

You spoke with much a monotonous tone that it kind of scared everybody. "I can't say that I know what kind of pain he went through, but my father was always mean." Your hand moved to pet Mr. Froppé while you continued. "If my aunt wasn't alive, I would've killed myself a long time ago."

The small wind that you felt made you stop patting your bunny friend. "...Eventually though, I'll probably kill myself with or without Auntie present in my life." They saw the melancholy smile on your face.

It was weird, because you never smiled when you were with them. Only because of Mr. Froppé and now... because of the subject you were talking about. "I'm not sure how long I can hold it together, so let's enjoy now together!"

You slowly rose, facing Chifuyu with an excited (not really) look. "Chifuyu-san, I want to go home now. Can I ride on your shoulders?"

"What?"

"...I can't?"

Seeing the features on your face changed, he internally panicked and agreed without much thought. He was really confused now. One second, you were talking about your life, and now you wanted a shoulder ride from him.

You looked around, confused but not of the same reason. "Hm? Why does everyone look so sad all of a sudden?"

Did you really not know of the grim atmosphere that you created?

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On the way home, you started various conversations now, from birthday parties to terrorism. They don't know how the topic of terrorism came up ― It just did. But that's not the point! The thing was that, you were talking normally with that same stony look on your face. Like you didn't even spoke at all about committing suicide. They wondered if you realized that with such a deep topic that you brought up, you ever felt sad.

Committed suicide is no joke. It impacts others, but having you talk about it like you were talking about puppies was different. They all had the more reason to take care of you.

Takemichi sympathized with you when you said your uncle jumped off a bridge. He had also experienced the same with his friend, Atsushi. But instead of jumping off a bridge, it was a building.

It's almost the same. He committed suicide out of fear of Kisaki.

But this... you weren't like this because of Kisaki. You already had a messed up childhood and if you had died, Mikey, who had taken a liking to you since the beginning, would become even more corrupt.

He really didn't know what to do now. Stopping Kisaki and stopping you from killing yourself seemed so hard to achieve. On one hand, Kisaki is a really clever and conniving person. He was able to manipulate Mikey in the first timeline. On the other hand, you, he assumed, already had thoughts of suicide even before you got involved with Toman. Getting over trauma takes a long time, and he can't help you when he doesn't know what kinds of things you've been through.

And you weren't even part of Toman! With more pressure now, he felt really useless in times like this.

What should he do?