Reckless

Chris 48

I thought long and hard about this decision, I weighed all the pros and cons and went back and forth mainly between two of the three Hezekiah or Bam.... I don't want y'all to think that there was an issue with me and Dhamir, but I had just spent a lot of time with him and if I was being honest I still needed to figure out what this energy was that was hovering between us was before I have another private conversation with him. The decision wasn't an easy one, I had to choose between personal pleasure or mental stimulation.... I chose Hezekiah, mainly because if Bam was serious about it being strictly sexual (which I was strangely fine with) then it didn't need to be rushed, and if it's as good as he claimed then I wanted to build up the sexual tension some more. I walked up the stairs and I heard different music coming from different rooms; trap R&B music coming from Osian and Anthony's room, rap coming from Nolan and Bazil's room, 90s R&B coming from Jizzle and LaChae's room, I couldn't make out the sound coming from Uno and Chess's room but that was only because Legend, Cody, and Renee were trying to make sure the entire island heard them (I can't believe y'all picked me over them 🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️) Anyways I walked to Hezekiah's room and knocked quietly before stepping inside and to my surprise he was sitting out on the balcony listening to smooth jazz.

"I never took you for the jazz type." I said walking out and sitting next to him. Hezekiah didn't say anything he just hit the blunt and continued staring out to the water... without saying a single word I could tell he had a lot going on inside of his head and I felt even more guilty about how I had been treating him.

"I'm good just thinking.... in a few days we'll be heading back to the city and back to the cold reality of what's really going on." Hezekiah said quietly, I watched as he hit the blunt and unlike Bam, Hezekiah was extremely careful with his words, they were about the same in the levels of cockiness but Hezekiah was less flashy, his cockiness came out through body language. "You ever think you're TOO loyal?" Hezekiah asked.

"I mean... I don't think... I mean nah.... you can never be too loyal." I said looking at him.

"I love Renee... that's my sister and I'd die for her. But there are times when I feel like I'm sacrificing my own happiness to help her with her goals, and the craziest part is that I knew if I ever expressed this to her she would give me every single dollar she has and tell me to go find some happiness..... But knowing me, I'd feel guilty as fuck for leaving.... that's what I mean by being too loyal, your happiness comes second to the mission." Hezekiah said quietly.

"When you put it like that.... Legend is the same way, he'd actually be pissed if I were feeling that way and I didn't tell him. Legend is really my brother, we've been through a REAL war together.... I don't regret my loyalty to him or question it because I know he'd do the same for me." I said shrugging.

"Same with Renee.... and let's not downplay what's going on back home; I think that's a part of the reason I'm nervous about really pursuing something with you.... I know the risk, but you....you didn't sign up to deal with my shyt and I know Legend doesn't want any parts of what's going on. I'm just afraid of something happening to you because you've decided that you wanted to fuck with me." Hezekiah said smiling.

"Damn, you're just assuming that I've DECIDED that I wanted to be with you." I said laughing.

"You're here aren't you?" Hezekiah said turning to me. "I think you feel in the back of your mind that I was the best choice because I don't want anything from you... Now IF I wanted we'd be fuckin right now, but you came out here and picked up on my vibe within a second, I didn't have to say a single word and you knew instinctively what I wanted... which was nothing more than dope conversation."

"You really are a cocky muthafucker...." I said laughing, Hezekiah didn't say a word he just continued holding my gaze and then quickly pulled his shirt off and tossed it into his room. Without saying a single word the whole mood shifted and what was casual energy turned into pure sexual energy, Hezekiah seemed to undress me with his eyes, seduce me with his silence, and tempt me with his very presence. "I'm not moved...." I said glancing away from him and then I made the fatal mistake of looking back at him, again he hadn't said a word; all he did was run his long tongue across his juicy lips, and the next thing I knew we were kissing.