Reckless

Cody 69

I hated funerals, ever since my parents died funerals just made me feel anxious to the point that I felt like I was going to have a panic attack; but I needed to be here, Peanut was one of my oldest friends and I needed to say goodbye..... I also needed to be here for Kendu, I glanced over at him as he sat in the front of the funeral home staring ahead with this blank expression on his face. I couldn't imagine what he was going through... if Legend..... I shook the thought from my head before it could fully form, I didn't want to think like that. I missed Legend and wished he was here but he was thinking about pushing his trip to Boston off and I didn't want him missing work because of me. Osian and Anthony were standing off to the side talking to our old friend Bella.... despite the sadness I was feeling a smile spread across my face remembering how Peanut and Bella used to go at it, then the sadness returned hitting me harder than ever and I felt like my chest was going to explode, quickly yet calmly I walked out of the funeral home and tried to catch my breath I just needed to calm myself down. The funeral hadn't even started yet and I was already a mess, I wanted to run but didn't want to seem selfish but I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it through the entire service...

"If you wanna leave, I'll cover for you... I know how you get during funerals." J'Wayne said walking over to me. Maybe it was the overwhelming emotions that I was feeling but my antennas instantly went up, I had no idea why he was even here and suddenly my sadness turned into guarded suspicion.

"Thanks, but I'm good... I'm not running from this. What are you doing here anyways?" I asked because as far as I knew J'Wayne and Peanut didn't know each other, my suspicions were somewhat confirmed by the look on J'Wayne's face; it was the look of someone who realized they were caught but looking for a lie to cover their tracks.

"I'm honestly here for you.... I knew he was your friend and I know you don't do well at funerals, I'm here simply to make sure you're okay. Celeste told me that you weren't doing so well and despite everything we are still friends." J'Wayne said and I scoffed at his words, we were friends... we were ex-lovers who never made it to 'official' status.

"Whatever... excuse me, I should be getting back inside." I said starting to walk off.

"All this senseless violence..." J'Wayne said somberly, like the best politicians J'Wayne had a way of grabbing your attention with his words. "The senseless murders.... Peanut, Ondrej, Destiny, your parents..... It's not right, that's why I want to clean up this city the Hayes Family brings destruction wherever they go and I want to put an end to it."

"My parents died in a car accident... it wasn't murder." I corrected but J'Wayne hit me with the 'are you sure look' before shrugging. "I don't wanna talk about this, least of all with you... now excuse me." I said walking off before he could say anything else.

I didn't remember anything from the funeral, it was all a blur... supposedly I gave a speech that left Kendu bawling, from what I've been told Osian walked out, and Peanut's mom fainted. Chae gave me the recap as we approached Osian's apartment, the plan was for Chae was watching Osian's daughters while we celebrated Peanut and basically got fucked up. J'Wayne's words were still echoing in my head, I tried to ignore them but it was like an itch that you tried to ignore but it kept getting worse.

"You just had to pull at the heartstrings... telling the story about how Peanut stopped them dudes from jumping, saying how good of a friend he was... always protecting his friends. How loyal he was...." Osian said sitting next to me.

"Peanut was a clown... I remember when he got into it with Mrs. Miller because she tried to whitewash slavery, I don't think I've ever seen a read like that since... Peanut went all the way in, it was so bad she ended up quitting the next day." I said and Osian smiled. "How's Kendu?" I asked glancing over to where Kendu was sitting, he still had that blank look on his face.