Charlie and Nick: A Heartstopper FanFic

Doubt

Nick spent most of his day hungover. The fight had only left a couple of marks, the most noticeable being the bruise darkening his cheek and gash across the bridge of his nose from Ben smashing their heads together. He covered the gash with a bandage and hoped no one would notice the bruise.

Of course, it was the first thing Tara noticed when he and Charlie showed up to her party. The function was modest with only twenty guests or so. “Hm,” Tara said as she examined the bruise.

By now, Darcy had noticed as well. “I hope the other guy looks worse,” she chuckled and rested her hands on her hips.

“It wasn’t like that,” Charlie spoke up. “He drank a little too much last night and tripped when we were climbing the stairs.”

Although Nick didn’t care for dishonesty, he wasn’t proud of how he had received his wounds. How did the other guy look? Nick couldn’t be sure. He had been so consumed by rage that he couldn’t be sure of anything. Then he thought about the look of horror on Charlie's face when he begged him to stop hitting Ben. It was the first time Charlie ever looked afraid of Nick and it made Nick sick to his stomach. He thought about what Charlie told him, about Ben cornering him at work. He thought about that need that he’d felt since he was sixteen, the need to save and protect his boyfriend. He thought about their tiff the night before and what Charlie had shouted at him. Charlie didn’t need protection and Nick was suffocating him. Meanwhile, Charlie was dealing with his own problems in backsliding into self harm. How could Nick help him if he made Charlie feel suffocated? Was it Nick's love itself that was so suffocating?

Tara accepted their birthday wishes with hugs before she linked her arm with Charlie's. “I need to borrow you.”

Charlie gave Nick a cute wave as Tara dragged him across the room.

“Here I was, thinking you and Charlie bailed early last night to go snog somewhere,” Darcy tsked as she crossed her arms over her chest, “but you really just ditched us to attend fight club.”

“You gotta show up from time to time or they revoke your membership,” Nick joked.

Darcy pursed her lips, causing her seemingly permanent smile to vanish for a moment. “You okay?”

Nick shrugged, too drained to feign a cheery front. “I honestly don’t know anymore.”

“Everything good with Charlie?”

Another shrug. “We still love each other. That’s optimistic, right?”

Darcy nodded and offered a caring smile. “Love counts for a lot.”

Nick's gaze naturally gravitated across the room to focus on Charlie. He was chatting with Jeff, the bassist of Tara's band. Tara was nowhere to be seen, leaving Jeff and Charlie to talk alone.

Jeff spoke close to Charlie's ear so he could better hear him. Whatever he said made Charlie's face light up with laughter. His smile was radiant.

He is so beautiful, Nick thought, overwhelmed by how much he cared for his boyfriend. With all they had gone through for years and years, it warmed Nick's heart to see Charlie smile.

Clink! Clink! Clink!

Tara tapped her glass with a small spoon she had fetched from the kitchen for this very purpose. “Attention, please? The birthday girl is calling for attention.”

The party guests hushed and focused on Tara.

“What’s this?” Nick asked Darcy.

She slowly shook her head in confusion. “Not a clue.”